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Hello! The Onion, with the help of the Sandy Hook families, has purchased InfoWars. We're planning on making a very stupid website. We've retained some Onion and Clickhole Hall of Famers to pull it off. I can't wait to show you what we cooked up. nytimes.com/2024/11/14/bus…
This actually poses a tricky electoral problem for Matt Gaetz. Climbing the political ladder as high as Attorney General risks making him out-of-touch with the interests of modern teenage girls.
His first act will be cancelling all current investigations into his sex crimes
DONALD TRUMP has named Rep. MATT GAETZ to be the attorney general nominee.
hoping this is like giving your little brother the unplugged controller
1. Appointing two heads to solve an efficiency issue is beyond parody 2. This only ends one way, and that’s with Vivek bludgeoning Elon to death with a tennis racket
President-elect Trump announced Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy as the leaders of his new Department of Government Efficiency, aiming to reduce federal waste and bureaucracy. ktvu.com/news/trump-elo…
Who else is watching The Penguin? Hard to remember many season finales that elevated the entire season as much as this one did
Change in Chicago: Shane Waldron is out as the Bears offensive coordinator, per sources.
I just shared the grink tweet with a few of my extremely offline coworkers. It’s called reaching across the aisle, try it sometime
I slept on the floor with my feverish daughter last night because the only way she’d sleep was snuggled against me on the bare carpet, and today I feel like I got hit by Kam Chancellor
Biden welcoming Trump to the Oval with the full protection of the Supreme Court
DEM INSIDERS: please, we’re begging you to not be shithead neolibs for like thirty more days TEAM HARRIS:
Democratic insiders begged Team Harris not to campaign with Liz Cheney or embrace her father rollingstone.com/politics/polit…
Maccabi Tel Aviv is well known for its violent, anti-Arab soccer hooliganism. They thought they could just waltz into Amsterdam with it and received a stern rebuke. It will be good when these things are seen as they are and freed from shallow, propagandistic historical analogies
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Who to follow
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Babou Serpentine
@Benoit_Ballss -
Larry NASCAR
@MrBlockedOff -
John
@JuanchoS -
Bad Bart
@BadBart209 -
Sobb Deep
@EricThyme -
Delete MY Account
@HamHock42 -
so many Spooooooomy™️ tweets
@somanybadtweets -
Same Sad Echo
@thebestSSE -
in a hot minotaur
@InAHotMinotaur -
Curtis Wenis
@CurtisWenis -
aaapharmclub
@aaapharmclub -
MedicatedWorldPeace
@MedicatedWP -
rubdirtinit
@rubdirtinit -
Mangini In A Bottle
@ManginiNaBottle -
MopUpReliever
@MopUpReliever
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