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@Jamesry21
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Nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, everybody's gonna die. Come watch TV?
A good host is conscientious of the remaining quantity of toilet tissue long before a guest's arrival. cc: Margaret
excuse me, police? two dudes are doing a high five near a car and i demand you send a drone to tase them
Remember 2014, where people nominated others to pour a bucket of ice water over their heads to prove they weren't a witch? Good times
Ja Rule has done more damage to the 1% than the Democrats have
Got into a fight down the pub last night. I gave the other guy a proper licking. Which just seemed to make him even angrier.
It happened because i typed the most outrageous message ever And made myself hit "send"
If you don't hear, "I'm hungry" immediately after saying, "time for bed" you must not have kids.
Me: I hate cutting onions. Wife: If you chop them under water that should stop the tears. Me: But won't I drown? Wife: I want a divorce.
1ft long pizza sub On italian herbs cheese Toasted With avo, spinach, tomato, onion, cappos, olives, jalapeños, olives, garlic sauce, s n' p
Ordered some drinks in Shoreditch and they arrived in a steaming suitcase. Literally kill me.
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