Laura Cook
@lauracocomedyComedian. Bartender. Goddamn lady.
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I want to be April Ludgate, but I know deep down I’m just that cranky bitch from the progressive insurance commercials.
Oooo baby do you know what that’s worth? Antiques Road Show is a place on earth!
Dippin’ Dots is the ice cream of the future that liberals want
Whiskey for my men, soup for my family. Or whatever Toby Keith said.
Remember when we all applied so much roll on body glitter that it dried up and started to flake and it fell off of us like we had enchanted psoriasis?
My friends keep dying and I’m sick of it. If you have a problem with addiction or being alive in general, please reach out. You are not alone. You are loved.
My Cat From Hell but it’s @JacksonGalaxy dressed as a priest and preforming feline exorcisms
How is anyone going to know I’m bisexual if my mask is covering my septum piercing?!
“Magic! Magic! Make it gay, all my food! AMEN” - a prayer from my friends five year old daughter
Damn boy! Have you been gettin demon sex? Because you are one dysfunctional pussy! #2020pickuplines
I just learned that people keeping the stickers on their snap backs is not some grand homage to Minnie Pearl and boy am I devastated
To the people who desperately want to leave Oklahoma but stay in an attempt to make it better; I see you and you’re my hero.
You’re worried about a paw patrol character getting cancelled because it will upset your children? Black parents are worried that their children will be gunned down by police for no fucking reason. Think about others for once in your life.
Decided to get on Twitter. There will be equal parts comedy and absolute rage. Stay tuned💚
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