Soup, Salad and Dreadsticks
@ADeaconWeb Developer. Stand-Up Comic. Blue Whale Comedy Festival organizer.
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If you’re an adult and still say “it’s your birthday month” it should effect your credit score.
Hit that react button if you want to join my improv troup “Execute the Baby.”
Since it’s a such a slow news night, what’s your favorite dipping sauce?
Kansas City’s latest hotspot is “The Kelce Suite.” It has everything. Swifties. Sansa Stark. Deadpool dressed like Van Wilder.
Will CNN continue to host their town hall with a sexual abuser this Wednesday?
Wouldn’t recommend: Event Horizon before bed. #sixwordstory
Thank you to everyone that participated in Scorpio Breeding Day. We need more allies in this astrologically divided world.
I heard it’s only 69 cents a month to get verified on Xanga.
Sleepy Joe would be a 🔥weed strain name, just saying.
A woman I went on a date with a year ago texted me to let me know McDonalds spicy nuggets are back. If she’s flirting, it’s working.
Those galaxy photos from the James Webb Space Telescope are giving out serious Winamp Visualization vibes.
Business Idea: A Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Steakhouse. You can eat as much as you like as long as you’re prepared to fight for it.
If you’re looking for a weed strain to pair with the state of our government, I’d recommend Trainwreck.
My favorite tributes to Ray Liotta have been when people were quoting Casino.
If you’re at the @NASCAR race today, you’re welcome to use my hotspot. There’s no password to join. You just gotta appease your Wi-Fi Daddi and click a small dose of truth. #nascar #fairelection
I’m not wishing @evan_hug__s happy birthday until he starts putting lotion on those Nosferatu hands of his.
For the first time in my adult life I’m at a weight my doctor would consider healthy and all it took was focus, determination and a debilitating 72 stomach virus. #blessed
I was taking an edible induced nap. What’d I miss?
Just watched a McDonald’s employee fill the ice cream machine while telling someone the ice cream machine is currently not working. Anyways, conspiracy theories are real y’all.
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