@kelseymatchen Profile picture

The Book of Kels-ey

@kelseymatchen

Husband & Father, Attorney

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9 mo. pregnant wife: He's so cramped in there! Me: Yeah, pretty soon there'll be no WOMB at the inn. Wife: Me: Wife: Me: Wife: Me: Wife: Me: I'll leave.


The Book of Kels-ey Reposted

Kids should not be so depressed about school that you can infer the school calendar based on suicide attempts.

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HHS Secretary Xavier Becerra has no answers about why unaccompanied minor children were settled at a strip club in Florida and then pimped out by an "aunt" who has no relation to them at all


The Book of Kels-ey Reposted

On his way out, Joe Biden is trying to forgive $4.65 billion of debt Ukraine owes America's taxpayers. I just introduced H.J.Res 224 to stop this "America Last" policy from taking effect.

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The Book of Kels-ey Reposted

Underlying the sheer incompetence in my case is something more sinister. DOJ is inventing criminal law to codify the prosecution of whistleblowers at the behest of the major hospital systems they expose. If permitted, medical whistleblowers will become a historical relic.

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The Book of Kels-ey Reposted

J.K. Rowling says John Oliver “spouts absolute bullsh*t" about trans athletes not posing "any threat to safety" in women's sports. “If you want to tell the world you’re happy to watch females suffer injury, humiliation and the loss of sporting opportunities to bolster an elitist…

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The Book of Kels-ey Reposted

Please pray for this Christian mother of four. Her execution date is fast approaching at the hands of Muslims who say she blasphemed Mohammed vaticannews.va/en/world/news/…


The Book of Kels-ey Reposted

Truth.

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The Book of Kels-ey Reposted

Friday, we had a Motion to Dismiss hearing. DOJ so thoroughly embarrassed themselves, it's hard to comprehend how this is still ongoing. There's nothing I can say to translate how bad it was. You have to read it for yourself. And this was only first few minutes!

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The Book of Kels-ey Reposted

🚨THE LEFT'S ENFORCER: The Southern Poverty Law Center has taken aim at Not the Bee, the real-news partner of The Babylon Bee. The SPLC is threatening to doxx the people who write for Not the Bee, to reveal their identities to expose them to ridicule and ostracization. The…

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The Book of Kels-ey Reposted

As someone with a child sitting on an army base in Germany right now my loathing for Joe Biden has reached levels I didn’t know were possible. He has chosen to spend his last few days wandering the rainforest, giving away money, and lighting sparks of global war by saying sure…

BREAKING: Ukraine has used US longrange missiles to strike within Russia for the first time

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The Book of Kels-ey Reposted

I own a cafe. Hiring staff is my biggest challenge. I don’t even hire for competency in the kitchen anymore. I hire based on your ability to hold a conversation. I can teach anyone how to be a chef, but it took me two years to learn I can’t teach these kids how to have manners…


The Book of Kels-ey Reposted

NEW: Donald Trump is expected to pick Cantor Fitzgerald CEO Howard Lutnick as Commerce Secretary, according to Punchbowl. Here is Lutnick blowing the minds of CNBC hosts as he explained how Trump will use tariffs as a negotiation tactic. Lutnick lost 658 employees in the…


The Book of Kels-ey Reposted

This is the directness and moral clarity we’ve been desperate to see. The issue isn’t as complex as some make it out to be. Men are not women, and therefore, they should not occupy women’s spaces. Simple.

From Jonny Bell

The Book of Kels-ey Reposted

🔥🔥🔥 @NancyMace just made this ABC reporter rethink his entire career when he approached her about the new tr*ns congress member using women's restrooms 😂


The Book of Kels-ey Reposted

The discredited, scandal-ridden smear factory known as the SPLC is about to publish a hit piece doxxing several of our “Not the Bee” writers who wished to remain anonymous so they could speak freely, without fear. The SPLC extracted sensitive information from our site, then used…

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The Book of Kels-ey Reposted

Tomorrow around noon my baby boy will have a bone marrow biopsy. We will know tomorrow if his cancer is back. The Dr. has already said after the results my son will have his central line put back in and a spinal tap. They will start chemo right away. My son may not even have…


The Book of Kels-ey Reposted

BREAKING: The Department of Education failed its audit for the THIRD year in a row 🚨 Abolish it.


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.@Louise_m_perry giving me chills in @firstthingsmag this morning.

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The Book of Kels-ey Reposted

AHHH SO EXCITED! ANNOUNCING ADVENT LINE UP Alrighty guys - so I’ve been waiting a while for this one…was really tough to keep in. But, for our Advent challenge this year we’ve got some phenomenal folks joining. As a reminder the theme is ‘For God so Loved the World’ and we’re…

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