emily
@emilogueem dashes & iced coffee • she’s filled with menace and ill intent • ✍️ • she/her • avatar by @kalehummus
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“I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn. This is Gimli, son of Gloin, and Legolas, no dad.”
need one of the ootd girlies to recreate lucy’s iconic pink fit from the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe (1979)
Father-in-law: “You know, they call the Oregon/Oregon State game ‘The Civil War.’” Me: “Which team is pro-slavery? Trick question, it’s Oregon, they both are.” I’m delightful at parties.
“Wait isn’t Val Kilmer dead??” “Just because he died in Top Gun doesn’t mean he died in real life, it’s not the Matrix.”
The clearest signal that any given TV show guy is a villain is wearing one of those colored dress shirts with a white collar.
Me, several months after this was trending: “would you still love me if I was a worm?” My husband, heartless: “I refuse to engage with this.”
(Speaking to our dog) “Penny, you would lose your mind in a Chuck E. Cheese. I don’t think you are prepared for Charles Entertainment Cheese and all he has to offer.” — @banterability
when u stay ready u dont have to get ready
Look, there's no legal grounds for me to say this, but I should be allowed to drink an alcoholic beverage outside if I'm walking my dog at the time. In my mind, that is a loophole.
why as women are our clothing options now 'extra on the set of euphoria' or 'extra on the set of little house on the prairie'
Jeff argues that my idea of “how many vegetables go with food” is completely unhinged. To that end, how many green beans is the correct amount of green beans for one person:
![When I have opinions, my opinions are my own. [She | Her]](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1011681508493586434/hhO2XCRp.jpg)
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