@SamKin74 Profile picture

SamiGirl

@SamKin74

educational diagnostician, former special education teacher, mom of 2

Joined June 2014
Similar User
Tommy 2 times photo

@tombrickjr

angel photo

@angelmcclain21

GinaWings 💄 photo

@ginnawings

Josh Gearon photo

@jawshwalla

Moose Punch! photo

@MoosePunch

Comfortably Numb photo

@ObsessionNumb

DizzyDarling photo

@IzzyIlluminates

Archie photo

@ryanprice77

Kenevel photo

@Kenevel

SamiGirl Reposted

Always date a woman over 40. They carry snacks and ibuprofen in their purse.


Doing the bird box challenge thanks to the frost on my windshield.


21: I just saw your dinglehopper! Me: My what? 21: (points to woman)There! She looks just like you!


Me: Hey, Siri, where’s the nearest Carl’s Jr? Siri: The nearest Carl’s Jr is on Broad Street. Is that the one you want? Me: I suppose. Siri: I don’t know what you mean by “I got hoes.”


SamiGirl Reposted

Dear @LidlUS My name is Bean. I eat peanut butter and jelly English muffins for three meals a day. Back in February, my mom bought 72 jars of your peanut butter when it was on sale for 78 cents a jar. I numbered each jar.

BeanPhilosopher's tweet image. Dear @LidlUS 

My name is Bean. I eat peanut butter and jelly English muffins for three meals a day. 

Back in February, my mom bought 72 jars of your peanut butter when it was on sale for 78 cents a jar. I numbered each jar.

11: Hey, Mom, want to spend $100 to see how white you are? (was pointing at a discount version of genetic testing)


A lady cut in front of me in the McDonald’s drive through. A few minutes later, she was involved in a fender bender. 11: Now that’s what you call karma. Me: Literally CAR-ma 11: (huge smile) I’m so proud of you. My kid loves puns.


SamiGirl Reposted

I’m just looking for someone who will eat the dark meat so I don’t waste half the rotisserie chicken.


Sometimes I think I’m getting pretty desperate, but then someone comes along to remind me that I do indeed have standards.


There's no sexy way to eat biscuits and gravy.


I thought my iPhone had given fat me and not-as-fat me two separate photo albums, but it was me with glasses and me without glasses which is kind of the same thing.


SamiGirl Reposted

1st off: I'm dead serious. 2nd: I'm giving away this laptop. Just like & RT this tweet & reply with a number between 1 & 40,000. The closest wins. One entry per person. Winner is announced on 12/31 2pm EST. Must be following. USA only.

KrisnBrit's tweet image. 1st off: I'm dead serious.
2nd: I'm giving away this laptop. Just like & RT this tweet & reply with a number between 1 & 40,000. The closest wins. One entry per person. Winner is announced on 12/31 2pm EST. Must be following. USA only.
KrisnBrit's tweet image. 1st off: I'm dead serious.
2nd: I'm giving away this laptop. Just like & RT this tweet & reply with a number between 1 & 40,000. The closest wins. One entry per person. Winner is announced on 12/31 2pm EST. Must be following. USA only.

It's hard to be productive when your bra feels like a medieval torture device.


Others: I wonder what pair of socks I'll wear today? Us: I wonder if I'll find a pair of socks that matches today? Probably not.


SamiGirl Reposted

At some point, you hit an age where only your therapist wants to know how your day went.


SamiGirl Reposted

If you're not a parent, please stick your parenting advice up your bottom. And if you're not a single parent just know that it's the hardest job in the world.


SamiGirl Reposted

Hey @SouthwestAir, my sister @SamKin74 posted that viral video of the hilarious flight attendant. Can you fly her and my niece and nephew out to LA to visit me?


Is it a successful trip to the buffet if you don't leave hating yourself?


Insomnia tip: use this time wisely. Win imaginary arguments against people you haven't seen in years and are probably dead.


Loading...

Something went wrong.


Something went wrong.