BrokenRites
@BrokenRitesDivorced/separated ex-wives/husbands/partners of clergy: supporting each other & calling for better support of ministers' families before/during/after breakdown
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Eager to be outta here now; been torn for some time between ethics & anxiety about losing connections with you all. Looks like the exodus is gathering pace... Setting time limits so forays elsewhere don't eat too much of our lives. Follow the butterfly? #Leavingx #leavingtwitter
"Church ministers tend to live permanently at the outside edge of their emotional capacity", as those who live with them will testify. Families often get caught in the crossfire at church & suffer collateral damage at home when the brown stuff hits the fan. Disastrously for many.
I was at a brilliant day yesterday on the subject of criticism A few thoughts 🧵 Nobody handles criticism constructively when they are at the limit of their emotional capacity Church ministers tend to live permanently at the outside edge of their emotional capacity
This
While our focus is on those abused by John Smyth and the church’s response to the Makin report, we must also remember that there are many other victims of church related abuse who have been adversely affected by the same kind of response when disclosing abuse
#SelfPityPost Spare a thought please, for all the spouses who have spent years trying to rebuild their lives, & their kids', after so many other scandals, real or averted; botched disciplinaries; "don't ask don't tell" situations, & tragic mistakes. It opens it all up again.
One thing I mention in the post but don’t go into great detail on is the irony that women who left abusive relationships were more stigmatised within this world than powerful men accused of abuse spectator.co.uk/article/evange…
It's hard to think of a satisfactory symbolic act more appropriate than resignation right now. But a Welby witch-hunt is not going to change much on the ground, unless swathes of others go with him, & we ALL pledge to dump the toxic culture: & learn whole new ways to be. Yikes.
THIS ⬇️ From the ones who have escaped, to those still caught up in the #TiedHousing #ChurchyCulture trap: we see you. We will support you any way we can. Thanks @BrendaW36187388
Many things have deeply shocked me about the Makin report, among them the evidence that his wife Anne knew of & colluded with the terrible abuse. Was she equally sadistic, or another victim of his control? Could she have done more? For the sake of her own children as well.#Makin
A number of victims and survivors of John Smyth and the Church of England have asked me to issue a statement on their behalf. You can find it at thinkinganglicans.org.uk/wp-content/upl…
Yes of course we're hoping for a free copy- but happy to share anyway, because it's a joy to see light and hope being brought into the formerly grubby hidden corners of life
Just under 3 hours to be in with a chance of winning a free copy of my new book! Just like and share the post below and I’ll pick a random winner at 5pm
An victim of domestic abuse writes- “This is how abusers operate: they create a never-ending cycle of compromises, broken promises, and future faking, making you believe that if you just agree to the next condition, everything will be fine.” - precisely how the CofE operates
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We share the "widespread concern that the CoE #safeguarding is unduly influenced by reputational factors, and is not objectively applied". Other #churches are just as bad in this respect. These are people's lives! And their families' lives, and... 🤬
The Soul Survivor Report – Some Thoughts. I’ve written this piece for Surviving Church setting out some further observations about the Scolding review and the wider implications for the Church of England survivingchurch.org/2024/09/27/the…
It's sad that we need #DutyOfCandour legislation. It's appalling that some of us are asking whether this will improve the behaviour of the #church. (That's #churches of all denominations). #truth #transparency #trust #whistleblowing #abuse #power #establishment #HillsboroughLaw
Stop trying to be holy and just focus on being nice! Lift other people up and be kind to yourself too.
STOP! It's OK. It's his wife's fault: "At the time of the offences, Mr Edwards describes an unhealthy lifestyle featuring excessive use and misuse of prescribed medication. He has expressed some disappointment that although family members had commented on these changes, there…
Too many women end up carrying all the shame. To just be who we are, telling our stories to friends (let alone more publicly), is fraught with complications: especially if children or other vulnerable people are involved. Grateful to those who have courage to tell it like it is🙌
Gisele Pelicot, whose husband drugged her and allowed different men to rape her over the course of 10 years, is holding a public trial and allowing her name to be published, even though she didn't have to. Her husband wished for a private trial, which would have allowed their…
I wish more people knew that you can come from a broken home even if your parents are still together.
"Trauma has become very self involved and very self referential... Most people who have trauma don't know they've got it ." Incredibly powerful but deeply uncomfortable talk from @lokiscottishrap critiquing discussions of trauma and lived experience in culture #gb24 @greenbelt
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