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If we all go to jail at some point for illegally downloading music, I hope they at least split us up by genre.
I’d like to propose one more thing to the list of prohibited items TSA checks for at airport security: infants.
Why does opening an ironing board sound like opening the gates of hell? Is that a requirement?
I can’t even get to the chill part of Netflix and chill because it takes an hour to pick what to watch on Netflix.
If I'm on a zoom call with you, make no mistake that I'm staring at myself the entire time.
I cannot see how Biden won Wisconsin. Lil Wayne supports Trump. And Wayne rhymed mansion with Wisconsin. Therefore Wisconsin should go to Trump.
Black, trans, left-handed, journalist, vegan, anarchists lives matter.
Mask or pants. You pick what you want me to wear. But not both.
I don’t trust mint chocolate chip ice cream that isn’t green.
Hey, folks, I’m really sorry about all this bull shit. But I have to be honest, that bat was DELICIOUS!
I just bumped into the cable install guy out front my house and he asked me what time it was. I told him it was between 8 am and 1 pm.
Whomever said there’s no such thing as white culture never saw Wolf of Wall Street.
Currently helping my son search for his box of Reese’s Pieces that I ate an hour ago.
Life is like a game of chess... I don’t know how to play chess.
Blessed are those who read an online news story to the end before commenting on it.
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