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@BuiltInColorado
@BitzOfFitz
@AndyWhisney
@MaraTheressie
yo why didn’t anyone tell me this is how my signature was coming through
apparently a guy accidentally tasered himself in the balls and then died of a heart attack while trying to steal a painting yesterday and if we can’t all come together over how hilarious that is we may be beyond hope
A not-so-fun interview I had with Cosmo
At peak season, brown bears can add up to four pounds of weight a day. Bear 409 looks like she had no trouble with that. (Yes, this is the same bear. We’re screaming.)
#whyididntreport Repressed memory. AKA my brain unconsciously blocked the experience b/c it was associated with a high level of trauma. When it came back to me, I invalidated myself b/c I was drunk and might not have remembered enough details. FU, @realDonaldTrump
"I didn't have my camera with me so here's a sketch I drew of it."
A fun game I like to play sometimes is standing as still as possible after peeing so the automatic flusher doesn’t register me and goes ahead with its flush GOT YA BISH
Forgive me for I have sinned
Good morning to everyone, except people who take our Tabasco bottles.
Just returned those warming sleeves from @PapaJohns takeout and the pizza guy responded “oh cool, do you work for papa john’s too?”
High stress this morning attempting to sort my trash into the correct receptacles while the Wedge employees oversaw
![NEW ALBUM OUT NOW https://t.co/RaOriMAgMq Insta: @zoogmaofficial #wtfiz #zoogma Live Electronic Music Vibes[] tickets : https://t.co/quKdEotXYv](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/880449382021300224/MqBMVWum.jpg)
![Founder of Museology, digital interviews with influential women [coming soon] ||| Insta: @muse.ology ||| : dina.ovsepian@yahoo.com](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/735250134435401728/trL4NXga.jpg)
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