@virtualzoe Profile picture

zoe q

@virtualzoe

@fallon

Joined April 2011
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yo why didn’t anyone tell me this is how my signature was coming through

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zoe q Reposted

Today is a day to celebrate.


zoe q Reposted

apparently a guy accidentally tasered himself in the balls and then died of a heart attack while trying to steal a painting yesterday and if we can’t all come together over how hilarious that is we may be beyond hope


zoe q Reposted

live view of the capitol police

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A modern romance: “I want YOU, not your content”


Minnesotans are wild

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A not-so-fun interview I had with Cosmo

Yes, It's Possible to Forget You've Been Sexually Assaulted csmo.us/dVS88rW

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zoe q Reposted

At peak season, brown bears can add up to four pounds of weight a day. Bear 409 looks like she had no trouble with that. (Yes, this is the same bear. We’re screaming.)


#whyididntreport Repressed memory. AKA my brain unconsciously blocked the experience b/c it was associated with a high level of trauma. When it came back to me, I invalidated myself b/c I was drunk and might not have remembered enough details. FU, @realDonaldTrump


Happy Friday folks

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A good banner ad

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A very good watering can review

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zoe q Reposted

"I didn't have my camera with me so here's a sketch I drew of it."

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A fun game I like to play sometimes is standing as still as possible after peeing so the automatic flusher doesn’t register me and goes ahead with its flush GOT YA BISH


Forgive me for I have sinned

Good morning to everyone, except people who take our Tabasco bottles.



Just returned those warming sleeves from @PapaJohns takeout and the pizza guy responded “oh cool, do you work for papa john’s too?”


High stress this morning attempting to sort my trash into the correct receptacles while the Wedge employees oversaw


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