@shitbarrister Profile picture

Shit Barrister

@shitbarrister

no, YOUR a idiot

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Pinned

I finally inspired someone 🤗

When I grow up, I want to be you.



It’s true, life fuck really is your short freinds

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Gary Barlow’s son and his schoolmates on come as you please day

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I am satisfied with the packing of this dishwasher. Say whatever you want, big plates should be at the back, who cares. It’s sexual and I won’t hear otherwise.

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Fuck you, Paramount Network, you little tease #Yellowstone


I started this morning in doom and gloom fashion. Faith in humanity completely restored, however, when I opened a package from the mighty @alabamageisha who had not only found me a Girl with a Pearl Earring but also surprised me with these!!! Thank you so much!!! 🥲😊😍

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Someone please tell me whether anything I do today will even matter. I have a real fear for the world today. It feels like someone put a big “wet paint” sign on the future and America couldn’t resist the urge to touch it.


For all the hangry people out there


Sky Sports+ is a great idea. Imagine if it fucking WORKED ON MY TELLY 😡


Roses are red Big lad bereft

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Right I want this for my house please, it was in TK Maxx and someone nabbed it. Someone please find it for me!!

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Random but hopeful shout out. Anyone here work at, or know anyone who works at, TK Maxx Homesense? Missed out on a cracking bit of wall art the other day and need to find another one!!


Roses are red Oh, what a lark!

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Ah cool, house stuff, fun game, car, pews, wait what?!

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I’ve started going to something called the GYM. It’s weird. You lift stuff up and then put it back down. I have been hearing about something called “muscle memory”. With any luck, my muscles will remember what Arnold Schwarzenegger looked like in the 1980s then I can stop going.


I wish overthinking burned calories


What’s all this stuff about eating cats and dogs?!


Congratulations to San Marino for surpassing my win rate this evening. 2 wins in 206 trials is the stuff of dreams to me.


Ooh tempted by this! Good price as well! Oh no wait…ah, no it’s just a reproduction.

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Annual we probably shouldn’t have fallen out for so many years but never mind it’s too late now hope you’re doing ok happy birthday R d’S tweet


Has anyone ever been to a café, greasy spoon or restaurant where you can say, hand on heart, that you got enough beans? I don’t think there’s any such place.


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