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no story will go unreplied to tonight
when i fart while im smoking weed i feel like such a worthless moron
me in the wendy’s drive thru when the total for 1 baconator combo is $18
This is how Zelensky shows up to the White House when he needs a check
Steve Ballimer’s developer speech, 1999
this panera bread is playing trance in the women’s bathroom I’m about to ascend
gay bruno mars be like: stop. wait a minute. fill my butt put some penis in it
Pulling up in this and hanging 50 on your head
Can’t believe this guy was raping teenagers… just goes to show you can’t judge a book by its cover 🤷♂️
“But she IS dead…(laughter)…she was a regular person. Just write ‘em a check. $11,000. She was 26 anyway. She had limited value.” You can’t reform this.
"@MarkMcGrath87: @realDonaldTrump You have a cunty demeanor." True!
you think he’s the victim when she’s had to resort to domestic prostitution just to get her husband to participate in the basic care of his own home and children
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