matt
@mattybtweets69@HBO, @netflix, @TheOnion | Don’t work for any of those places, they’re just some companies I like
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@laserboat999
@s4m31p4n
@LaughterHaver
@ipaddlearound
@afraidofwasps
@GeebMinister
@hanfjob
@god_brane
@oldfriend99
@h3xenbrenner2
@furby_hancock
@tonyhawktruther
@pobnellion
@darth_erogenous
@b1g_damage
Instead of true crime podcasts they should make a fake crime podcast and it should be a tv show and the crimes should be solved by four friends and their dog named scooby doo
Fuck you im never listening to Stairway to Heaven or any more of your dumbass songs ever again
It is an honor to join President Trump’s Cabinet as EPA Administrator. We will restore US energy dominance, revitalize our auto industry to bring back American jobs, and make the US the global leader of AI. We will do so while protecting access to clean air and water.
(Doing a terrible job of abandoning my family) Well I’m just gotta DoorDash some cigarettes
I work for a non-profit. It’s not for any societal benefit we’re just very bad at business.
They should do Hot Ones with pepper spray of increasing intensity
Oh hell yeah… Blue Heat Pepper Spray- The blue dye can mark your attacker for up to 48 hours!
You achieve a black belt in Krav Maga once you’ve finally mastered fetal position
A24 should make an elevated horror where the monster is an allegory for a British guy who is randy
I don’t know about tariffs but I sure know me and the boys love ta’ riff on some awesome “bits”!
im so confident that Kamala Harris wil win that if she doesn’t i will slowly kill myself with drugs and alcohol while my loved ones plead with me to stop over the course of the next decade
(Burying my face in my hands) The opps are gonna have a field day with this one…
The last thing you see before I blow you away with my revolver at high noon
This actually makes perfect sense
Mixing reading a book with drinking a coffee., “The Academic’s Speedball”
United States Trends
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- 4. Dora 23,1 B posts
- 5. Kash 80 B posts
- 6. Debbie 21,5 B posts
- 7. Mike Rogers 12,2 B posts
- 8. #LetsBONK 8.541 posts
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- 14. #FursuitFriday 16,1 B posts
- 15. Whoopi 67,5 B posts
- 16. Cenk 12,2 B posts
- 17. Fauci 182 B posts
- 18. The UK 449 B posts
- 19. Mr. Mayonnaise 1.469 posts
- 20. Tremors N/A
Who to follow
-
donald boat
@laserboat999 -
ppigg
@s4m31p4n -
pavlo
@LaughterHaver -
paddle
@ipaddlearound -
Boots, 'with the fur'
@afraidofwasps -
porn addicted genius
@GeebMinister -
clay ⛷️
@hanfjob -
Meat Boy
@god_brane -
josh (oldfriend99)
@oldfriend99 -
hb
@h3xenbrenner2 -
furby hancock
@furby_hancock -
❥ 𝑪𝒐𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒆 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑭𝒂𝒏𝒔 ❥ ◡̈
@tonyhawktruther -
pobnellion
@pobnellion -
Darth Erogenous
@darth_erogenous -
Jared 🗿🇵🇸
@b1g_damage
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