@rainerfm Profile picture

rainer fm

@rainerfm

Misogynist is too restrictive. I think the word you're looking for is misanthrope.

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Pinned

I wrote a book. It's a murder mystery. You're in it but only for the first couple of chapters.


rainer fm Reposted

I will keep your secret until I die unless you make me mad or something


[playing White House at Mar-a-Lago] “Remember that guy that landed the plane on the Hudson?” “I think I know where you’re going with this” “He’d be ideal to head the department of fisheries.” “Not what I thought you were going to say but still not your worst idea of the day, sir.


rainer fm Reposted

Ah, yes, the oboe, buffoon of the woodwinds.


Everything you need to know about the epic Mike Tyson-Jake Paul clash...


You know how in movies they’re always saying I wouldn’t change a thing because everything that’s happened, it’s lead me here to you? ok similar to that, but the same as the opposite of that.


Was Margaret Qualley supposed to be a sympathetic character? Because she’s too hot not to be one.


rainer fm Reposted

Before visiting moms be like “what can I bring” and still bring whatever they want to get rid of


You know how it’s hard to deny being a monster when there are bolts in the side of your neck?  -- ok, so it’s like that, but with assholes and Maga hats.


rainer fm Reposted

Some things make a little more sense to me as I get older like medieval punishments


Spoiler Alert. That Onion headline, that The Onion could have written, is actually true.


Snoopy could live with Peppermint Patty liking whatever she liked, but it struck a little too close to home when Snoopy overheard Charlie Brown saying he liked pussy.


I feel you might be padding your plus minus list a little bit when you say “better feet than a pregnant woman.”


rainer fm Reposted

Opinion | Why the best hope for America's future might be a military coup.


I would have thought, if you’re going to make a tv host the Secretary of Defense, Stephen Colbert would be a better choice. (Of course, so would Rob Dyrdek.)


rainer fm Reposted

“OH FOR CRYIN OUT LOUD” I yell while crying out loud.


Another dating profile question. Fill in the blanks. I was too _____ to make the bed so I slept on the _____


rainer fm Reposted

fuck nudes, send me a will to live


You know how you can get an automatic water dispenser for your pet, so they won’t get thirsty or dehydrated when you neglect them? Ok, anyway, one of those, but for my Keurig.


rainer fm Reposted

So much of adulting is just having larger bones than a child. Ugh!


*following the handy arrow helpfully pointing down the staircase towards the abyss*   “I thought it would be steeper”


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