@piece_ofschmidt Profile picture

maddy schmidt

@piece_ofschmidt

comedian, yeah I said it!!!! @sweatpenguinpod @pinkytoepaper

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It honestly brings a whole new meaning to white house "aides"


maddy schmidt Reposted

Biden coughing like Beth in Little Women I'm sure it's fine


maddy schmidt Reposted

I am THRILLED to announce that I am taping my first standup special with @dropout next week! If you're in the LA area, you can attend the taping for FREE. I've been working on this hour for over two years, and I'm SO excited to share it with you.

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Somewhere in an alternate universe I have mowed down so many los angeles pedestrians :/


Just got robbed (shopped at gelson's)


maddy schmidt Reposted

took an edible

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Looking forward to welcoming all the strike babies born between February and June 2024


More like drowning man


Giving birth for labor day


maddy schmidt Reposted

the fact that there even is a moon… fab!


“You’re exhibiting a lot of symptoms of ADHD” okay wait sorry what did you say?


Happy Barbenheimer to APUSH students only. I want to read your essays


When someone sent a script to my boss set in "a lake house in Silver Lake"

Here’s your friendly neighborhood script reader thought of the day: if you are writing about real places and real issues - like say, NASA - it will help you to assume that one of your readers has never heard of NASA, and one is a literal astronaut. Here’s why I think this:



If you want to know why SAG is striking, just stare at this poster

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Michael imperioli give me the formuoli


I should not be allowed to have custody of me jeeeeeesus is there someone I can call


The airport is the only place that makes you wish you were active military or accompanied by small children


maddy schmidt Reposted

I asked Chat GPT to write about #OceanGate Titanic submarine in the voice of Carrie Bradshaw 😭

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