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Well I guess you should retroactively update your temporal confidence discount rate to zero. Dumbass.


@ the goth club on a Monday destroying shareholder value, the matrix


I do feel like a special plant


Now only requesting drug amounts in units of LD


Two of the most meaningful compliments I've ever been given were: "this tweet is too good for facebook" and "get off me you fucking twink"


All the..way sex, and just a little cult


Tricking someone I know into trying a gross food combination in the privacy of their own home sometime, by me, now, mentioning the combo as an example in a conversation with someone else that I know they can hear


You guys don't understand what it's like to be a computer


God has decided to sit me in front of a play of combat with characters including "Luciferio" and "Capitán Suicida", and I am choosing to ignore it


Pointy, heavy, cartoonish


I want to eat this crunchy cookie more than I want to eavesdrop on this conversation


Yeah, well, her career was taking off, and then she faked her own death, so,


People should clap more. for me


no matter what


Never not stupid with you


Google Maps? Oh you mean "where the white women at?"


What does this mean for me and my television


I better not suck any more dick or I'll go to jail


My ideal date is blacking out and watching the muppet christmas carol


Pee is ketamine leaving the body


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