๐๐๐ธ๐พ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ท๐๐๐๐๐
@lucillebusterdog mom, former celebrity, denny's waitress, ghost writer for @50cent.
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how many calories does shower crying burn
or wait no nevermind that last post. i forgot god gave me the tools to be funny online
and for my next magic trick iโm going to think about my ex for 27 minutes before bed
Non confrontational people actually move so foul
talk about an offer you canโt refuse
i have to have the prettiest desktop background in the grocery store
[flirting] fuckass
i prayed to god and he left me on read
dream blunt rotation and itโs just my gf
iโm looking forward to seeing my targeted ads after spending the afternoon googling susan sarandonโs nipples and failsafe cures for catastrophic depression
O God and Heavenly Father, grant to me the serenity of mind to accept the fact that i work the opening shift tomorrow, courage to not call in sick for it, and wisdom to drink water instead of an entire handle of vodka tonight, Amen.
donโt talk to me until iโve had my morning korean corndog
ur parents should have named u beethoven cuz ur a symp and a phony
jesus: this is my body which is given for you. do this in remembrance of me jesus: this cup is the new covenant in my blood jesus: and this receipt renders you eligible for a free meal if you complete the survey at the bottom within the first 30 days after your visit
Bro thereโs nothing worse than when the jig is up
twitter is like thanksgiving in the way that i show up once a year wasted and say a bunch of shit that makes everyone hate me and then i flirt with your mom
drinking a tequila sunrise is like meeting the hat man at a gay bar
she becomin on my death til i destroyer world
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