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#FTX Apparently some teen crypt-keepers moved to Kokomo--they were freebasing spergiline and pulling daisy-chain trains and they decided to let it all ride on Worldcom. I will keep you updated.
“This ain’t no dovetail wood joinery,” Tom said, nailing it. #TomSwifty
I call jerks Mr. Potter instead of Grinch or Scrooge because they got redeemed and Potter stayed a wad.
My robot vacuum did the funniest thing two days ago… oh God, I should have had children.
Which is scarier: Midnight on Halloween in a haunted graveyard or 3pm on Thanksgiving at a south side pool bar?
That mysterious smell in the fridge was none other than my old foe, old phở.
The Green Long Thin Sharp-tipped Projectile #RejectedComicBookCharacters
It seems like there's always one jerk in every family. Except mine.
#yomama bung GET HAMMERED more than theses [grabs crotch] do on church door, Wittenborg, October 31, 1517 @yomama #Yomamma #DietofWorms
Correlation is not causation, true. Chang Bunker is not Eng Bunker but they're frequently around each other.
The "OK" hand symbol isn't racist, but the shocker is kinda rapey.
#YoMama sources her underpants at a firm that otherwise exclusively supplies 900 denier nylon boat covers.
United States Trends
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