@johncruckshank Profile picture

john cruckshank

@johncruckshank

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Banning gambling ads in entirety might be too extreme but maybe look into banning the gambling making human beings take flight part of them.


Fuck all diversity in submarine experts smh


People romanticise the Santorini lifestyle but it’s like I just climbed a hundred flights of stairs with no shade cunt fuckin oath I’m having a long lunch


john cruckshank Reposted

😂🤣


I need a shoe for my brain.


Funerals are more expensive now so not only is the cost of living going up funerals are more expensive as well.


Lampshades insult everyone


If life isn’t a simulation then how is weis bar mango the same price as a weis bar mango & macadamia?


Championship tennis players really be going out on a date with the trophy.


Netflix best business model of all time every cunt has it but every cunt hates it


Really enjoyed the World Cup of LED lighting


You can’t spell dream without ream


Lionel Messi look like a melbourne tradie


You know I accidentally be scanning for the lime bike with the phone camera 🤪


I’ll watch white lotus when it’s set on Rottnest Island.


Catholic Church got a line on the best vacuum cleaners cos of all the confetti


john cruckshank Reposted

melbourne cup is ultimately one of the few days a year where going to the pub is fucking awful


john cruckshank Reposted

Already two shows sold out this week! Prebook now to catch @dave_thorno @Mrdavidquirk @AureliaStClair @jbarr_666 @LukaCMuller @johncruckshank @JamesMalcolmNZ and many more 🤩 Get tickets at comedyrepublic.com.au

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Alright I give up what’s Optus?


My order at domino’s is the same as my order at Lowe’s extra large Hawaiian


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