@jayv Profile picture

j

@jayv

I wanna pretend I'm a former blue check haver but I never was famous enough

Joined May 2008
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I've been laughing way too much at this clip by @PhilosophyTube I’m also very sad I didn't get to this video for like three weeks. But also, I can just watch the video and I'm instantly cheered up.


Why am I still laughing at this???

I've been laughing way too much at this clip by @PhilosophyTube I’m also very sad I didn't get to this video for like three weeks. But also, I can just watch the video and I'm instantly cheered up.



j Reposted

In France for work. Obviously I knew there would be lots of people with dogs. What I was not prepared for is that the dogs seem aware they are French


Elizabeth Holmes is Romy of Romy & Michele’s High School Reunion. 😂😂😂

Wait, do you think the voice I invented to play Romy & the shenanigans she & Michele engage in actually influenced Elizabeth Holmes?? If so, I am truly sorry- this would be the first time (I think!) one of my performances led someone to jail… the undying power of #RomyandMichele



j Reposted

oh shit

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Sorry guys I’m at work so I can’t say much right now so , #MyTwitterAnniversary

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Ok, so .... two things. One, “Garbage Truck” is the best SBO song, and Two, “Through the Trees” by Low Shoulder is NOWHERE on this list. rollingstone.com/music/music-li…


j Reposted

Help the british found my tweets and now they are all really taking the mickey out of me


They really need to work on lip sync. I mean, even despite the dead stare—the mouth opening too wide to pronounce, like, the word "you" really bothers me.

Hi I am Lia! I am an artificial intelligence! Follow me!



Dear @EpicGames , I'm having trouble claiming today's free game. Please help.


Was he interrupted in the middle of his shotokan training?

Why is Captain Picard dressed like this? Wrong answers only. #StarTrek #StarTrekTNG

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I kinda feel bad for the first one. Like, it's just so untouched.

it’s that time of the year

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j Reposted

Oh now I’m MAD mad. Video incoming….


Angel Studios. Clever name. Wonder if there are any success stories for these guys.

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j Reposted

I got fired from Twitter today. I was responsible for the tweet you were halfway through reading suddenly glitching and jumping all the way back to the top.


A federal judge Calls Clarence Thomas’ bluff on gun Rights and originalism. Judges don't make good historians, but you know who do? Historians. slate.com/news-and-polit…


What would the Doctor know about the King's fingers?! Oh no, I hope this isn't a plot for the 2023 specials

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j Reposted

If you're wondering what happened with Elon Musk: He signed a piece of paper saying he would buy Twitter, and then he didn't want to anymore, but Twitter was like "no take backsies" and then Elon said "but you lied about how there are tons and tons of fake users, I had no idea!"


j Reposted

An interesting development in the Kim <> Kanye saga

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Is it liquor after beer, you're in the clear? Or liquor then beer? Asking for a friend


j Reposted

I would quit the FUCK out of this job.

This security guard was working at a cemetery and this happened 😳 twitter.com/AlphaSixFour/s…



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