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"The pumpkin should rot off my head in a month or two." -Dwight Schrute
Hey babe, are you adobe reader because you are not responding
It's time to look at a breed many people have asked us to highlight. This breed can be a gentle giant, but also the ultimate FAFO to those would cause harm to their family. They are enormous, fuzzy protectors. It's the Great Pyrenees. 🧵
Instead of “happy hour” I wanna go to a “grievance hour” where the drinks and appetizers are half price and everyone steps up to the microphone but instead of karaoke they complain about their lives
Dunkin' donuts is entirely hit or miss and that's what it makes it soooo east coast catholic. U have to suffer a little to reach transcendence. U have to know that it could snow in March
Big dogs doing agility? Yes, please. Let's hear it for Ava the Great Dane. 👏
saw this reel that said "no one thrives more in an airport than a solo travelling eldest daughter" and like YES so true
Don’t love me for my body. Love me because I was an accelerated reader.
"Please be more mindful of how expressive your eyebrows can be during meetings when others are speaking" my boss to me after the great 2 truths and a lie incident of February 15, 2024.
Who called it an allergist and not an antisneeziologist?
girls be like "i'll go to sleep early today" and then they are still awake at 3:40am
i drink dr pepper in much more meaningful and profound way than you can understand
Remember to always check park alerts and closures: Some park roads close during the winter due to snow, ice, and the annual Abominable Snowman Cold Weather Celebrity Sasquatch Awareness Fun Run Pro Am Race for the Cryptid. For the Yeti.
do not underestimate the power of a good water bottle! it can literally be life changing however the Stanley… sorry but she is not the It Girl you think she is. get yourself an owala free sip!! buy one and thank me later, it is absurdly good
My husband: we really need to cut back our spending My dog: absolutely, right after an emergency visit to the vet
![[something clever yet poetic]
♈☀️♋🌙♐⬆️](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1033384348349812736/meReeEge.jpg)
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