Taylor Watkins
@daysoftayI'm just another tired Mom who still likes to think she's cool enough for social media. Its up for debate #momscool
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My mother called me and said she had an emergency errand for me to run. I told her we were under a stay at home order and we just got her groceries, to which she replied: “I need a bottle of vodka and your daddy needs a bottle of Bailey’s. The liquor store has a drive thru.”
Somehow the remark, “I’m pregnant,” will make them understand why I’m wearing a giant oversized sweater, Capri sweatpants, winter boots, and a dressy winter jacket whilst holding my hubs beer and sweet tarts.
Any other pregnant gals feel the need to suddenly tell a stranger that you’re pregnant… As if it will somehow make your appearance better?
Got the kids to school on time... made breakfast not sure what happened but looks like I fell asleep while eating a banana. #pregnancyproblems
Husbands being a dick. Waited 30 min for him to not show up and help me carry in groceries since it was piss pouring rain.... only to then trip over my damn dog trying to do it all myself. So there I sit in the rain, ass wet, crying... when my asshole dog runs off w my damn Oreos
Tried to play a video game tonight .. let’s just say it’s not my strong suit. Oldest: Mom! Stop spinning! Mom! Jeez press y1 then b! Mom! That’s not it. Get off the wall. Me: I died again. Oldest: Ugh Mom, next time just jump on my back. Me: “hangs head in shame”
Once you can drop the kids at school on Monday and peel out with ‘Gangster’s Paradise’ blasting, is when the New Year really starts.
Someone was making me a drink and she asked me if she added too much alcohol and my brother in-law said "she has FOUR kids!" and she added more alcohol. I've never felt so seen.
My absence is due to the news I am pregnant. I was momentarily mad w fear and excitement. I’m better now. #2020SoFar
Tennessee took the lead in epic fashion 😳
We’re at the #TaxSlayerGatorBowl game and see a Tennessee fan with a shirt that has a huge power T and it says “orgasm donor” instead of organ donor and I seriously can’t stop laughing
thinkin I’m gonna get more into horoscopes in the new year. can’t wait to yell at the stars. lost a job? it’s because you’re a pisces. friends don’t like you? aries. hit someone with your car? scorpio.
One of my biggest fears is being trapped in an endless moment where my oldest is telling me about his Minecraft worlds over and over and over... #ThursdayThoughts
[In the car] 4 year-old: What's this song called? Me: "Don't Speak." [10 minutes of silence later] Me: You alright buddy? 4: Yeah you said don't speak. Guys, I did it. I found the Holy Grail of parenting.
#cantsleep Picks up new mystery/thriller about a man who keeps his wife prisoner in a gorgeous house... sorry husband of mine but my dreams are def putting you in the dog house tomorrow. #behindcloseddoors
Now I know why “those” parents pre watch movies before allowing their kids to watch... I’m pretty sure I just scarred mine for life. #momfail #GhostStories
In my defense who lights a candle and thinks, oh wait those year old giant dried hydrangeas might be highly flammable. My husband has sent me to the garage to think about what I've done.
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