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Being neurotic is awesome I can do anything


When I'm speed walking in heels and a blazer at 7am- why do the Central Park horse people think I would currently have the time to go for a stroll with them


Dani Reposted

happy halloween

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This is a weird person I'm so sorry

Chappell Roan confronts a photographer who was disrespectful to her at a Grammys party.



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Me with my gay boyfriend who I fucking hate

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Woman in Brooklyn just said to her dog "no chocolate today" TODAY?


My mom took a Xanax last night and kept repeatedly asking me who the killed the victims on the show we were watching- it was Unsolved Mysteries btw


Peach Snapple is divine


Dani Reposted

scream (1996) dir. wes craven

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Michael Bole except it declines

patrick zweig trying to pay with his face card at the hotel since his debit card declined



Some beautiful men at Westside market… gonna start looking confused in front of apples


Required skills to be a cop in nyc: Have AirPods in Play on phone Circle up with the other cops and talk


Dani Reposted

i looovvveeee having a shitty day in nyc like okaaaayyyy girls hbo


Dudeeeee I love emojis it's so easy to convey messages to my millennial coworkers when I use them Faves rn: 🙏 , 👍


Stop I can't hear this

your soulmate IS at the afters



The older I get the more I like emojis 🙏🙏they can express so much 🌜


Need to do this in Tallahassee, Florida

hey wanna go to spirit halloween then stop by barnes and noble and after get some mexican food??



There's something very peculiar about you @BarryKeoghan


No. I'm not giving you my "Snapchat." You're 30.


One of the group activities at The Ugly Man Convention was to like me on hinge


Dani Reposted

After a long day of saying wildly offensive things I like to unwind and think about how beautiful and kind I am


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