Chason Gordon
@chasongordonWriter / piteous wretch of a man. Words in Slate, Splice, McSweeney's, SlackJaw, Vice, Globe and Mail, other places words go. Find less on https://t.co/YAYeEFj0oj
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Watching someone move into the abyss and put up wallpaper is entertaining, unfortunately more so than watching them ask for help and get their shit together. My latest in @SpliceToday2022 splicetoday.com/moving-picture…
When my girlfriend talks to me on the phone while brushing with an electric toothbrush, it sounds like I'm dating Peter Frampton. youtube.com/watch?v=ROtFte…
"Life sometimes finds a way to destroy itself. As we sit there yelling at the characters to 'Stop doing that!' we may get the clue. Or we may never realize why we enjoy both the cinematic and our own self-destruction so much." splicetoday.com/moving-picture…
Not sure what happened here, but guessing it was something like "Fuck her I'll just get pretzels."
Mine: Peter Bogdanovich’s 1971 masterpiece The Last Picture Show endures as the finest “coming of age” film (unfortunately, it led the puerile John Hughes industry). @MoustacheClubUS splicetoday.com/moving-picture…
Doing the dishes by yourself just so you can keep eating is like acquiring territories in a game of Dinner Party Risk. My latest at @mcsweeneys mcsweeneys.net/articles/i-onl…
"Oh no, everyone's done eating, and the lady hosting this dinner party wants us to 'retire' to the living room. Retire? There's a turkey leg dangling from my mouth. I'm not done eating. Can I bring it with me?" mcsweeneys.net/articles/i-onl…
.@Rolo caramels look like chocolate space capsules, but they would totally melt on re-entry. And why are they shuttling caramel to space? So many questions.
For years I irrationally separated friends as if them meeting would set off a quantum singularity. My latest at @Slate slate.com/life/2024/09/f…
The simple friendship practice that terrifies me on a cellular level. slate.trib.al/x2W1p6C
What amuses me about this basketball is that there isn't a court anywhere around here, but perhaps someone was practicing their dribbling on the boardwalk. Or it's a giant fishing floater.
It's good that yellow square is there so you can stick the landing.
A bad remake of a favorite film can be annoying, but it's also an inadvertent early warning system to changes in the social and cultural landscape. My latest in @SpliceToday2022 splicetoday.com/moving-picture…
The other day I held a burger over the air conditioner in my car to cool it down, because America.
It involves two moms, a big spread in ‘National Geographic,’ and perhaps unsurprisingly, a man and his two dogs. trib.al/LRRr7Qu
Pretty sure that door leads to an apartment that takes up the entire building, but could be wrong.
New @chasongordon: Bad remakes are the early warning system to disorienting changes in the social and cultural landscape. splicetoday.com/moving-picture…
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Who to follow
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Louis Virtel
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SWEARNET
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tubi ad break
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Madame Lifewaster Jr. 😐💀
@elunatyk
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