Dateless Fuckup
@Sammy_SegaSingle, alone, lonely, loser. Do you want to go out with me? How about you? Why do people hate me? Wait, come back!
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How bad is my love life? My gynecologist said he wants to see other people
I love dating! My favorite part is when the waitress takes me to the men's room to show me where my date smashed the window & snuck out
When you mean so much to him that he slows the car down to a gentle roll before pushing you out on the sidewalk... That.
Loan me your braided belt?
Welcome to the hood, we have no clue how a 4 way stop works
Would you stand next to me long enough so I could take a self- hey, I didn't know guys carried mace...
Relationship status: I called the suicide hotline & the guy said go for it
ME: (opening door to blind date) Nice to meet you... HIM: I just remembered I'm a homosexual. And now I gotta go.
A ladies man in the streets. A disappointing fuck in the sheets.
Relationship status: I've been waiting at this glory hole all day & all that's come through is gum wrappers and used toilet paper
I only go to the bathroom at gas stations in the hopes I'll meet a freekpeeper
Relationship status: my taxi driver said I could walk the rest of the way
Me, my futon, & a vibrator named Sweetchuck... we got a thing going on
My favorite part of the date is when I open up the front door & the guy pretends to go blind
I miss you is just a sadder version of I love you.
my daughter has the cutest baby coo... it reminds me of a childhood movie... .. i think it's gremlins but maybe return of the living dead?
Notions of men writing love letters using a fountain pen is pure romance which has been lost to technology.
Any chance we can eliminate all houswives shows regardless of the city?
Relationship status: Boyd banned me from the backyard until I shave my bush @TheBoydP
There. Acid it. Boyd's contest entry, probably.
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