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Standing desks are such a flex. I would stand on a stool just so my standing desk is the highest in the office.
Going to send my friends a Flat Stanley to get life updates instead of calling them.
For the Dawn Dish Soap Commercials. They aren’t actually dunking small animals in oil just for the sake of a commercial are they?
A random guy today told me that he liked my outfit and that it looked like I go to hogwarts… I cannot decide if that is a good or a bad thing…
Travis Kelce only said Nevada cause he wanted to impress Taylor with the fact he knew where Las Vegas is.
This would be a great source of power instead of windmills!
Device invented to strengthen babies’ legs to help them crawl and walk.
My 9 year old brother just asked me to make up a bedtime story. Told him the plot of Ferris Bueller. Adulting is so fun.
Instead of walking into a room and forgetting what I was doing. I now go to my Home Screen and forget what app I was going to open.
My life is just a constant race against the arrival time on maps
Hot and crazy girl scale is obsolete. Hot and stomach issues scale is the future.
KC teams are no longer allowed to play orange and black teams in a postseason game.
“If you look to my right you’ll see your left and if you look to my left you’ll see your right”
Congrats to covid for joining a srat I hope you throw that dynasty sign
No one ever asks when is a bad time for an appointment
I can’t believe that all the gluten in this food is free.
I feel so scandalous when I tell people I was an altar boy.
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