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Someone on my flight is watching videos out loud at full volume…….
Is the male equivalent to abortion a good ole fashioned waffle stomp? Can I say that like is that chill for me to say?
Farted so hard my underwear fell down around my ankles
Wanted to be Roger Federer when I grew up and now I’m just a fat retard
Filled to the brim with chicken wings right now. I have bubble gut BAD. Hopefully I can fart/poop and make it feel better. Have a good night everyone
On my flight home! Going to tamper with the bathroom smoke detectors…
Both Trump and Kamala have texted me for money reasons today. Was skeptical at first but pretty sure it’s legit. Gave them both $5
Instead of voter ID we should make girls show their boobs and boys show their weiner
This year’s Victoria’s Secret show was absolutely horrendous. Go watch the 2012 show and you’ll understand. Sad to see this collapse.
Carved some pumpkins with my dear friends tonight to get in the holiday mood. Sound off in the comments!
Going into the eye of the hurricane and jerking off
Rape and murder. Cock and ball torture. Drowning myself on purpose.
Please can you Hawk Tuah me it’s National Boyfriend Day 😢
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