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"I've got a tight 15"- open mic comic talking about this week's drinking budget
"Beyonce makes me feel some type of way"-#AdelesBlackFriends
Hating Trump feels like a full time job, so I guess he did get me a job. #MakeAmericaGreatAgain
I can't fight, so there's no hope for my kids. Maybe they'll be natural killers-- then I can Dexter them down to something more manageable.
"Man, this country sucks"-people who hate Trump, and also Trump #InaugurationDay
No, no. The eerie singing/angry look on Trump's face split screen is soothing.
"I went from a size 18 to a butterface in just 10 weeks!"-this lady on this infomercial I'm watching
An even stranger thing would be me liking something everyone else likes.
How do I gracefully transition into using Twitter more for my musings? Should I start by not announcing it?
Shout out to that kid who asked me if I ever heard that Biggie song called, "It Was All a Dream." Of course, I said, "No."
Tweeting for twelve followers is what Jesus would have done.
I'm going to pad my number of Tweets like restaurants pad their menus (vegetarian).
I'm going to pad my number of Tweets like restaurants pad their menus with cheese.
I'm going to pad my number of Tweets like restaurants pad their menus.
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