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@houseofspatula

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@KingDaa2000

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@copeedopeefawty

nobody will remember: - your salary - how “busy you were” - how many hours you worked people will remember: - who to call when you have a structured settlement, but need cash now


Seeing this sniper miss his shot at Trump got me thinking about how i missed my shot with you.

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“What’s something you’re passionate about?” Me:

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The kinda jiggle these pants produce should be illegal. Thankfully, they are not.


I love this movie

The worst kidnapper ever, at this point just let her go😂



🤣🤣

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I think I got @svndeezy’s fortune cookie

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No cheating, type "por" and screenshot your keyboard suggestions 😂💀

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🤣🤷‍♂️

Your love story starts with your first emoji and ends up with the fifth Mine: 😂 🥀



Would you rather sit on someone’s face or have someone sit on your face? 🤔


"You're sick of you’re gonna eat my ass out on the first date!" Ме :

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The girl of your dreams is just sitting on a bench press, farting away between sets while doomscrolling on her phone rn


Like if you eat ass


I may have followed @svndeezy right after this…

Speaking of fire selfies, #throwbackthursday to when I was spotting you at the SJ Fit Expo

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Employed by a big corporation and this is still better than what I get.

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Chairs after a powerlifting meet

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