@DominvsRex Profile picture

Brenton Hawkins

@DominvsRex

Sometimes I'm funny. Sometimes I'm grumpy. Usually both.

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Respect to the fighters @jakepaul and @MikeTyson, but no one with any fitness knowledge is surprised by this outcome. Wonderful efforts both ways though.


Every @DennysDiner turns into the safest building in the country on veterans day.


TIL pineapples do not grow on trees. I feel violated by this information.


Cheddar life is the better life.


Giant asteroid 2020.


Brenton Hawkins Reposted

I disagree with the political opinions of many athletes, but I think it's absurd to tell them that they shouldn't voice those opinions. Do we tell plumbers not to have opinions? Doctors? Janitors? Why should athletics be the one career that disqualifies your opinions?


Brenton Hawkins Reposted

How to Write: 1. Follow your dreams 2. Follow them into a pit 3. Oh no 4. You can't get out 5. This was a trick 6. Dreams have betrayed you


Brenton Hawkins Reposted

0 torches: this is the correct amount for most situations 1 torch: ok if you're exploring a cave 2+ torches: something bad is happening


Brenton Hawkins Reposted

Being named White House Communications Director is like agreeing to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts. You won't last long.


And you guys had to use Mount and Blade: Bannerlord's trailer to sell your game? wtf?

My friends wouldn't stop recommending this game to me. Eventually I gave in and now I can't stop... cards.twitter.com/cards/18ce54iy…



Brenton Hawkins Reposted

fuck being sad its 2017 we positive as hell from now on. call up your boy and tucc him into bed. kiss a bird. ride a horse bitch. we happy.


you know, there was a time when my feet didn't feel so far away...


Brenton Hawkins Reposted

July 3, 2017: Happy Aphelion! Single day of the year when Earth is farthest from the Sun — 1.7 percent farther than average.


buckle up for safe eating. gotta get my #AuntJemima home safe.

Tweet Image 1

Brenton Hawkins Reposted

Hands on with Mount & Blade 2: Bannerlord's thrilling large-scale combat pcgamer.com/hands-on-with-…


Brenton Hawkins Reposted

Those cars from the Cars movies need to just shut the fuck up and race. It’s their damned mouths that keep gettin ‘em into trouble.


Brenton Hawkins Reposted

Who would have thought that terrorists don't care about what you do on social media...


Brenton Hawkins Reposted

If I and my advisors had never learned what Science is or how & why it works, then I’d consider pulling out of the Paris Climate Accord too.


Brenton Hawkins Reposted

If @theresa_may wants to stop people looking at naughty movies on the internet so bad, she should just star in one. Problem solved.


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