Dan Aswell
@AswellVideographer/Editor/Photographer, Craft Brew, Heavy Metal, Drums, Chicago Fire (TRS), Food Junkie, Gamer, Blogger,
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Just ate a tomato from my garden on an empty stomach while watering and now my stomach sounds like the depths of hell
Amazing one-liner I just heard: “That has more bounce than a beachball at a Nickelback concert”
My colon is reminding me today why it's a bad idea to cap your night off sitting watching TV with a block of cheese and a vegetable peeler.
It’s 2024. Why in the mother fuck can I still not buy alcohol before 9am on a Sunday?
I bet on the White Sox to win. You know what that means!! #worstgamblerever
Anyone at @barstoolsports want to help a complete n00b how to place a bet in the @DraftKings app? For someone who knows nothing about sports gambling but wanting to start, this shit is INTIMIDATING.
Always a great morning when your child reminds you that you’re wearing your Cradle of Filth shirt by asking a million questions about the snake witches that are seducing a topless woman on it
I have to factory reset my WiFi router and I’m about to have a panic attack.
Just pulled the trigger on the @LEGO_Group #DnD set. Now the decision I have to make is do I open it right away or put it away as a Xmas gift for the kiddos?
Have you ever over-confidently put new AA batteries into a child’s toy, securing it with say…seven tiny screws Only for it not to turn on? #plusispositiveminusisnegative
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