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Amanda Van Noscrubs

@AmandaVanNos

A fucking delight • TruTv • Amazon Prime • I have a question! A podcast

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So is having a mom-bod as charming as a dad-bod or no not even


I’m watching the worst dream team come together before my eyes


I’d like a breakfast martini


My new toxic trait is whenever a Texan says “I’m real sorry about that ma’am” I believe him


A haunted house but all presidential campaign emails


A haunted house but where every scare actor tells you how pretty your sister is


A haunted house but pictures from freshman year homecoming


A haunted house but just images of overdraft fees


My kink is cosplaying a normal, blonde human and then turning out to be an absolute weirdo.


Amanda Van Noscrubs Reposted

Sorry we just forgot the password to our phone

Tweet Image 1

Tim Walz seems like the kind of teacher who’d give me a hard time about my last name but then tell everyone in class to be more like me. Ew.


Biden is in his ‘I do standup comedy now’ era


Honestly, Biden is going to crush at the next @ComedyCentral roast


Not me being a brat because someone wants me to stain their teak when we all know it looks better without it.


Can anyone donate to my campaign for survival, like, generally


Lip filler at the airport is next level #peoplewatching


I’ve been hearing the ‘f’ word thrown around a lot at work and all I can say is we have different definitions of what ‘friend’ means


Having trouble sleeping? Cry first. Knocks you right out.


I try to look intimidating but I’m listening to I2I


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