One of the clearest signs of learning is rethinking your assumptions and revising your opinions. 21 things I rethought in 2021: a thread...

Intense emotions rarely last as long as we expect. In the heat of the moment, we overindex on our anguish today and underestimate our capacity to adapt tomorrow. Pain and sorrow are never permanent—they evolve over time. They can help us make sense, find meaning, and fuel…

My new favorite word: sonder. It's the profound awareness that every person you encounter has experienced a lifetime of hopes, fears, loves, and heartaches that you'll never know. Each moment of sonder is a reminder to appreciate how little we truly grasp about others' lives.

The root cause of our divides is not a lack of information. It’s a lack of trust. Faith in media, government, and the law has plummeted. People dismiss the message when they doubt the source. A key to healing America is increasing the neutrality and integrity of institutions.

When parents only ask about grades and goals, kids infer that achievement comes first. To signal that we value their well-being and character, we should also ask about happiness and kindness: -What made you feel joyful? Sad or worried? -Who did you help? Who helped you?

Reading to kids doesn't just benefit them. It's good for parents too. Evidence: Reading regularly to children improves parenting skills, reduces stress, and builds lasting bonds. In a distracted world, sitting together with a book is a rare occasion for undivided attention.

Abusive bosses don't drive performance. They undermine it. 471 studies, 149k people, 36 countries: in aggressive workplaces, we do poorer work, collaborate less, and shirk more. Incivility breaks confidence and breeds resentment. The best way to get results is to show respect.

Switching quickly between digital media doesn't reduce boredom. It intensifies it. 7 experiments: Skipping and swiping through segments to sustain interest backfires. Divided attention thwarts satisfaction and meaning. Enjoyment depends on full immersion in one task at a time.

Postponing a choice rarely solves analysis paralysis. It often amplifies anxiety. The antidote to chronic indecisiveness is not to gather more information. It's to clarify your values. The goal is not to check every box. It's to find an option that meets your top priorities.

The core skills of learning are a critical eye and an open mind. Critical thinking is refusing to accept ideas at face value. Don't believe information until it's verified. Openness is refusing to reject ideas at face value. Don't disbelieve information until it's falsified.

The most common response to adversity is not chronic stress. It’s resilience. 54 studies of potentially traumatic events: • 11% of people had extended difficulties • 21% had acute symptoms that dissipated • 66% sustained healthy functioning Humans are less fragile than we…

Grief is not a purely negative emotion. Over time, it becomes bittersweet—sadness is joined by love and gratitude. Nostalgia is a healthy response to loss. Longing for the past motivates us to appreciate the present and improve the future. The goal of coping is not to erase…

Feeling nervous doesn't mean you're unprepared. It means you care about something beyond your control. Anxiety is a caricature artist. It magnifies flaws and minimizes strengths. Gaining confidence is not about denying what could go wrong. It’s about recognizing what might go…

The opposite of ikigai 😆

A simple way to improve your mood is to curate your feed. Evidence: People were randomly assigned to unfollow accounts that spewed hostility, hyperpartisan views, and low-quality information. 6 months later, they had significantly higher well-being and lower outgroup animosity.

Don't let what you see on social media skew your view of humanity. Most bad behavior is due to a few bad apples: • Just 3% of active users are toxic, but they generate 33% of online content • 1% of communities launch 74% of conflict • 0.1% of users spread 80% of fake news…

The attitude that helps most with intense stress is not mindfulness. It’s hope. In hard times, it’s overwhelming to live only in the present. What brings strength is anticipating a brighter future. Resilience lies in remembering that today's burdens may be lighter tomorrow.

The hallmark of expertise is no longer how much you know. It's how well you synthesize. Information scarcity rewarded knowledge acquisition. Information abundance requires pattern recognition. It's not enough to collect facts. The future belongs to those who connect dots.

Meetings shouldn’t always be run by the leader. They should be guided by the best facilitator. Too many bosses silence the room. Skilled facilitators amplify dissenting views and quiet voices. A key to curbing groupthink is preventing powerful people from dominating…

The path to power is still a maddening tightrope walk for women. We expect men to be strong & capable, but women to be warm & modest too. We mistake their assertiveness for selfishness and vulnerability for weakness. We should hold all leaders to common standards of competence…