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SHIMMER!!! ✨✨✨I cracked the code for the #TSxCapitalOne #Giveaway! @CapitalOne, I’m ready to see @taylorswift13 at #TSTheErasTour!
Cardholders, we’re giving you the chance to win a pair of tickets to see @taylorswift13 during #TSTheErasTour! 1. Decipher the clue for the code word ✨ 2. Reply using #TSxCapitalOne and #Giveaway 3. Wait for the link via reply and enter the code word for a chance to win!
Things that made my toddler cry this week: - I wouldn't let the dog drive him to daycare - the bath was "too wet" - he wanted syrup for breakfast...just syrup - his sister "keeps looking at him" - he wants shoes like his friend Jacob (there is no Jacob) How about your kid?
so I worked with my friends the last two summers..
Asked this guy at busstop if he wanted to share my umbrella as it was chucking it down. He replied "I'm married" UM it's not that you're so fucking irresistible I wanted an 8am quickie behind the vets, I thought u might not like to be soaked before work, but DROWN see if I care
asked for sprite but they gave me clown juice instead
alexa why do minor inconveniences make me want to end it all
i literally have so many questions about the kid who ripped his eye out like i need ANSWERS!
HE DRAGGED THE FUCKING SPRINKLER IN THROUGH THE DOGGY DOOR
Calling soda "pop" is some 1952 yeehaw shit
I mean this is cool but did you see broad street on February 4th
bro I will straight up cry in public, please do not fuck with me
male height chart: below 5’2 - an idiot 5’2 - 5’5 - an idiot 5’5 - 5’7 - an idiot 5’7 - 5’9 - an idiot 5’9 - 5’11 - an idiot 6’0 and up - an idiot
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