@wffleballhelmet Profile picture

Wiffle Ball Helmet

@wffleballhelmet

Who mistook the steak for chicken? ⚜️🐘☀️⚡️ 🚗9️⃣ and 2️⃣3️⃣ ; 🏎5️⃣ 🏎️ ALO. I hate pineapple.

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Pinned

My safe word is “Andretti is slowing on the backstretch.”


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I’m sorry but I’m not gonna listen to some fat fuck talk to me about being healthy.


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Good dick can be having a bitch like


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No, no, you've got it all wrong. The skull isn't scary. It's the ribs. Ribs are scary.


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*slides in your DMs* i’m here to discuss your car’s extended warranty


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Fuck Elon Musk - inspirational 🖤

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Is the “spirit of the agreement” in the room with us right now?

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Rays walked off and this was our pretty girl in between the game and the T Pain concert - she is STUNNIN

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If you went to an MLB game in 2024, drop your favorite pic from your time at the ballpark 📸



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Ya’ll must’ve forgot!  Stepping into a new role with All the Smoke Fight, bringing that real talk and fight knowledge to the table.  Excited to join the team and take things to the next level. Let’s get to work! 🥊


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I love teaching music to little kids. I hope you’re able to enjoy your passion. It makes life a little less life-y on the bad days.


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Married guy: my wife doesn’t understand me Me: well I don’t understand you either


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The ability of demagogues & autocrats to surprise, to create a new scandal every day, is their superpower. It diminishes attention to the previous day's transgressions & normalizes them. It slowly numbs the senses, including outrage. Values are the only defense. Hold them dear.


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anyone have $3k they can give me

Greatest city in the world.

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We can't kiss because one of us would fall in love and then what?


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The sooner you understand people don’t get your tweets, the better.


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Hi my lovelies, how are we doing this morning? I slept well, saw a beautiful sunrise, did some stretching and journaling, now ready to take on the day. How about you?


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Probably the one who is a doctor and not the one who ate rancid meat which caused a parasite to crawl into his brain and eat it

Quick: who's healthier?

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32 years ago today, Alan Kulwicki won the 1992 NASCAR Winston Cup Championship. @paul_andrews7

From Andrew

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RFK Jr's first order at Health will be replacing all medical scrubs with dungarees.


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My other ride is your dad


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As Mayor of NYC, I pledge to keep fluoride in our water, vaccines in our pharmacies, and discarded dead bears out of Central Park.

Trump expected to select Robert F. Kennedy Jr. to lead HHS ow.ly/RPCN105OUR7



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