ezraterrestrial
@ugy_gugythey/them sit back as i demonstrate what happens when you get diagnosed with autism late in life
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am i allowed to do christmas nails yet or are you grinches gonna bully me
sleepy joe you’ve got two months. go crazy. eliminate all student debt. legalize marijuana. make tampons and condoms free. ban cybertrucks. shit in the oval office’s air vent. kidnap barron. the world is your oyster buddy
how famous do you have to be for it to be endorsing instead of supporting
pro tip: don’t drive your cybertruck to your dialysis appointments, because now i know i could kill you. now i know you’re weak
if there’s one thing about me as a server it’s that i’m not picking what you’re eating or who’s paying, i know you think i’m impartial but im not and you’re gonna be mad somehow
i’m not afraid of death i just hope im not the first of my friend group to go because literally what would i do by myself? make new friends??? no
if my child ever comes out as trans i hope they do it with a gender reveal cake
i refuse to let my boyfriend spend money on me but also if i don’t get a boo basket i’ll cry
if you come into a restaurant on a holiday (which is fine) don’t say some shit like “omg they have you working today??” you’re the problem bestie don’t spend money here and next year they’ll close and i won’t have to be here
is it ok if i play music while i sleep? ok thanks *pets cat until she purrs Very Loudly*
Wordle 988 6/6 🟩🟩🟩⬛🟩 🟩🟩🟩⬛🟩 🟩🟩🟩⬛🟩 🟩🟩🟩⬛🟩 🟩🟩🟩⬛🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 literally what the fuck
apple i want an easy way to delete contacts and also for you to tell me when i made them because idk who these people are or when i met them
the hardest i’ve ever vibe checked is on the first day of classes when the prof says to give your number to at least 2 people in case you miss a class
how do you tell someone they’re not invited to your birthday party cuz you hate them
y’all ever wonder what face you make when you’re getting a piercing
About to waste an outfit of a lifetime on my family today
she’s completely right btw
if you ever needed to find a torture worse than dêäth for me stick me in an ambulance/ER with all the equipment and nothing to do
as an EMT my favorite past time is making faces at people stopped behind the ambulance at intersections
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