@thedestin Profile picture

Destin

@thedestin

marginal citizen. dedicated consumer. rational participant. impressive coronal suture. first-time caller.

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Unreal!! @MattGourley stars on Splendid Table-> On the Curry Trail with Raghavan Iyer from The Splendid Table w/@markmcconville : splendidtable.org/episode/2023/0…


someone’s prbly alrdy said it, but why are the ppl who are afraid of govmnt militarizng agnst the ppl calling for militarization agnst the people?!


Destin Reposted

Matt Paxton, host of TV's "Hoarders": "Some people say I'm a decluttering guru." Marie Kondo: "Hold my beer." ... Marie Kondo: "Does it spark joy?"


If y’all wanna get back to work, that’s fine, But then me and all my nurse friends are gonna take a few weeks off while y’all get it figured out.


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"This restaurant serves food or shit. Which would you like?" "I only want my FAVORITE food. Otherwise, shit." - America 2020


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"Force"? Doubtful. Your son is dressed as a Stormtrooper, who serve as the Palpatine Empire's shock forces and were originally introduced in Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope. Originally cloned from bounty hunter Jango Fett... (1/17,313)

The Force is strong in my family. ⭐️

Tweet Image 1


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This reminds me of pants I had when I was a toddler. I shit said pants while standing at the top of a slide, and I didn’t know what to do so I went down the slide. Really mashed it in there. The pants were so ruined we just threw them out at the park. Anyway that’s your tweet.


Destin Reposted

Questions for you depression havers, you champs of Clinny D: Do you find it hard to know what you're actually good at? Like maybe you have a keen grip on your defects but you don't really get why any of your successes happen? Does depresh put blinders on your assets?


Destin Reposted

Maybe you have a “Crush”?

Happy birthday, @JimmyFallon I had a dream about you last night. We were swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea.



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Okay as long as it’s not on a Saturnday.

Happy birthday, @JimmyFallon I hope NASA organizes your party. They really know how to planet.



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Dropping a hot new poem I found. DING-DONGS Ding to the left. Dong to the right. The reverberations swell. Ding dong!Ding dong! They clang the outrage bell. Ding dongs on the far right fringes Squeaking mad… instagram.com/p/B2k4uRlJkPl/…


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LOL That’s some good physical comedy

Happy birthday, @JimmyFallon I hope NASA organizes your party. They really know how to planet.



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From health care, to gun violence, to the climate crisis—we can solve our greatest problems with new ideas bold enough to meet our challenges and big enough to bring people together to get them done.


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Is @anthonyjeselnik as alternative as @kristenschaaled? Find out on an all-new Good Talk with Anthony Jeselnik, Friday at 11/10c.


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A 30-minute phone call with the @NRA was all it took to remind this president who’s in charge. Apparently they have him by the...base. And that puts American lives at risk.


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Just saw this dad trying out mowers by pretending to hold a drink and yell at his kid to get out of the way 🤔


“911, what’s your emergency.” “Yes, please, I’m hearing voices.” “Oh my, What are they saying?” “911, what’s your emergency?” “I’m hearing voices.” “What are they saying?” “911, what’s your emergency”


Destin Reposted

This Shabbat brings another deadly attack on Jews, at worship, on American soil. Whenever anyone comes to harm because of their faith, we are all diminished. We cannot rest until hate has no home.


If only there was some way to let other drivers around you know what your intentions are when turning or switching lanes... like some sort of signal or something.


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