@tapedestroyer Profile picture

esmond

@tapedestroyer

times 2006 person of the year

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why does this always seem to happen


esmond Reposted

dudes will play rainbow six but havent stopped and admired a rainbow since they were six. Siege


my reflection probably got a better life than me


being like this is the only thing i got


the shit fairy left a special gift under my pillow


esmond Reposted

[alternate universe where everything is muck, grime, slop, etc] tv host: breaking ooze. Oozama Bin Laden just did Slime-Eleven in Goo York City. This is a national Trashgedy... slime themed peter gabriel playing from the radio: I wanna beeee.. 🎺🎺 your sludgehammer


esmond Reposted

me: i love to inhale ancient spores. i love getting my head bounced off cement. Guy who just followed me: I seriously doubt you enjoy that


esmond Reposted

[looking in the mirror] meesa not jar jar binks. meesa a fraud. meesa need to hurt myself


esmond Reposted

mom: can you help with the dishes? you aren’t doing anything 7 y/o me: (head big as hell on some genius shit, in my mind is a blur of mathematical equations, rotating molecules, brief glimpses of the True Face of God) You’re right. I suppose I am doing nothing. Nothing at all.


cant we all just get along? *shits in oxygen airspace stifles butt waste sniff trace*


hitler sucks black cocks? no thanks, haha. no it isn't that i dont like dicks i mean i loving LOVE 'em its just i respect the cannon a bit more thawait how much? oh wow uh yeah lemme get your number


esmond Reposted

are you ashkenazi by chance? yea i figured, can tell by h9w dense&heavy your breasts are. whats your take on Israel btw? I think we should sink it, lol. but yeah no u should definitely go pee the cum out, like asap. something is legit weird with mine, it makes ppl sick. like ill


esmond Reposted

Had a dream someone was rinsing an apple for me


i bought a dozen angry birds plushys at cvs and pierced holes thru them and ran twine through the lot of em to make a big squishy angry bird belt. girls are loving stupid and they like whatever


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