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surreal brainy

@surrealbrainy

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Snapchat Employees Abused Data Access to Spy on Users dailyamericanbuzz.com/2019/08/snapch…


The only thing scarier than getting a call from an unknown number. is when that number doesn't leave a voicemail.


Wearing sunglasses while indoors let's everyone know you have no business making even minor life decisions.


Why are you wearing? existentialist reporter on the red carpet


bling under the duct tape. Yes. I will marry you.


They say if you choose a job you love. you'll never work a day in your life.


Picking up this tiny piece of paper would take 1 second but instead I'm going to run over it 100 times with the vacuum at different angles.


What if you found out that wheat bread is just a bunch of ants squished together that would be pretty spooky


Tech exodus: HP, Dell, Microsoft, and others to reportedly shift production out of China rapidrationale.com/2019/07/tech-e…


Can someone go to the gym and work out for me? I'm trying to finish this pint of ice cream. Thanks


Back in my day you knew who your real friends were because they ranked you in order of importance on Myspace.


You mean a glass of... yourself? You see. the body is made up of ok ok sit down I'll bring it


Can we go to the adoption store and pick up a new baby?


Guys are always 'just kidding' unless you say yes


There are few things in life as pure and true as a grilled cheese sandwich.


I like listening to Phil Collins in the shower. He gets creeped out when he sees me. though.


Taylor Swift Is "Grossed Out" That Scooter Braun Will Now Own Her Music panthersharp.com/2019/07/taylor…


There is absolutely nothing wrong with yelling 'I HAVE THE POWEEER!' like He-Man after cooking an omelette that doesnt stick to the pan.


I'd like to thank my skeletal system for all the support its given me over the years.


people used to make fun of me in high school but who's making fun of me now?? that's right bud. thousands of strangers on the world wide web


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