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My windowsill. I never said I was normal!


C’mon England, let’s tear into the soapy cheese eating, clog wearing, pot headed, subaquine dyke fingerers, orange carrot inventors, Heineken drinking,cycling with no brakes,scared of anything remotely like a hill and has 2 names for its country bunch of canal dwelling Kwaboeri.


News from Parliament.... The Oppositon benches will have a separate area for Torys and Reform... Called SpivZone. Other drones, layabouts and general ne'erdowells areas will be made available as time goes on.


Even if Labour do put up taxes, as least they won't spaff it up a wall or give it to their mates.


Is it me or do other people think that Piers Morgan has been hogging the Kunt of the Week trophy for too long? Give someone else a chance!


steve elsworth Reposted

Celebrate our new signing ✍️ We’ve got a shirt signed by @AlexScott_7 to give away to one lucky #afcb fan 🎁 Just retweet this tweet to be in with a chance of winning and we’ll pick a winner by kick-off on Saturday 🙌

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steve elsworth Reposted

BREAKING: A mother has been found safe and well after a foetus was found on Canford Heath, police have confirmed. bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/23362183.…

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Oooh, salad shortages in winter! If we don't grow it, try not to eat it. Ultimate entitlement.


Harry Brook has probably retired 2 NZ bowlers with a cracking innings.


Dilemma...my local MP Tobias Ellwood is a very good constituency MP. However, he is a Tory...so, do I vote for the person? I wish we could instead of party. PM voted for in Parliament.


Just read Spare from Prince Harry, bit more on that sibling spat, not only was his necklace torn off but his dress got covered in dog food. True that.


Your motto for the next year Noli cunnus per totum annum esse. Tolle diem interdum.


I've watched all the Carol services this year, and not one of them sang Happy Birthday to the baby Jesus. And they call themselves religious, explain that Archbishop of Canterbury!!!


Don't forget it's Roadie Soundcheck Day today.... 12 12 22. One two... one two... two.... Two


My wife wanted a book of such unbelievable fiction it would take her breath away......... She's getting a train timetable.


A well known fact of nature is that cats have lots of hair in their ears to expand their hearing abilities... Blokes over sixty have loads and are deaf as... Explain that David Attenborough!


Jeremy Hunt has said that Liz Truss will be PM at Christmas. .......Which has now been moved to October 25th.


Almost 50 years ago we had a 3 day week and blackouts, this winter we may be revisiting, a Tory government that won’t listen. Knowing they are out, and impossible for the next party to try running the country? This is not how responsible adults should behave, or indeed children!


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