Squidward Tortellini
@sternzie3026Left handed. If it looks stupid but it works, then it’s not stupid. Parody
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What’s the point in even living if I can’t have sex with Whoopi Goldberg
Whoopi Goldberg threatens to join liberal women going on sex strike, after Trumps win. “If we don’t let you, you don’t get any. It’s that simple.”
Literally why Tyler made the song Noid Paparazzis are a cancer
When Jake Paul is 45 years old, he will be knocked out by 29 year old Big Justice. His father AJ reminded him to “bring the boom” just before the 8th round.
how am I supposed to read this sentence & not immediately kill myself
god himself was in that studio
my only question is. WHAT DO YOU EXPECT TO CLEAN WITH WATER & VINEGAR THAT WON’T BE SANITIZED BY A 400 DEGREE OVEN???
how is that like earth at all then
NASA has discovered a nearby Earth-like exoplanet using the James Webb Telescope, but it rains lava at night
me at thanksgiving dinner asking my mom if the green beans contain any seed oils
i starting eating a high protein diet like this and my body instantly slimmed down and my bloating/discomfort after eating completely went away.
Ngga cut me off n traffic. I pullup on side of bra @ da light. Dis nigga listenin to all eyez on me hotboxing a cig, fishbowl. U got it tonight patna…u got it.
every time i say oh brother i’m saying it like the guy off spongebob. iykyk
If I were the husband and you confessed this lengthy peanut butter ploy to me at the right time, it would be the funniest moment of my entire life
Wife makes him a PB & J sandwich every day for work but sometimes says she made it with hate 🥺
Wife makes him a PB & J sandwich every day for work but sometimes says she made it with hate 🥺
Keep burning them like this
New gay little monkey just dropped
Guy just walked into the coffee shop wearing a cowboy hat and it’s obvious he’s not fully confident in it. Tough to see
i don’t think i’m good at hinge
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