sarahtonin
@slevs19call me oprah because i love (gluten-free) bread!!
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sometimes i feel superior because i drink black coffee but then i remember that it's literally bean water and i need to get over myself 👀☕️
coming back to the artist formerly known as twitter because look at my friends?!?! this is so good i can’t
I hate gay Halloween, what do you mean you’re Kristen Stewart petting Taylor Lautner in The Twilight Saga: Eclipse before CGI
dad just tried to give me non gluten-free matzah why is he trying to poison me in my own home??? #levyseder
we are like two minutes in to the seder and i already have at least 4 grammar edits & mom has made note that we need a less distorted seder plate picture next year #levyseder
i’ve also been asked to time the seder so mom can write it down for next year for food prep time. now taking bets on whether the rabbi goes over 45 minutes? #levyseder
tonight i have been imbued with the highest of powers - full reign over when the seder stops for a joke. that’s right - #levyseder is back!!!
my favorite part of going to see the 1975 is watching the endless parade of black clothing…and the fact that it’s stayed that way over the past 10 years
me .01 seconds after dropping off my dog to be watched while i go on a work trip: i miss my dog
the real experiment on love is blind is how quickly two people can trauma bond
p sure my dog ghostwrote this
whenever there is no Parmesan in the fridge one lives in a heightened state of alarm until there is Parmesan again
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