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My fat brother walked into my room, ripped ass, and asked me and my gf if we want a threesome! Who else has to live like this?!?!?


Oh captain my captain!


Some times work get a little "hard"... http://t.co/LKLaS6xsDi

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Parker Neimann Reposted

Not to add salt in the wound Ghana but.... http://t.co/mCV8UsPMHL

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Feel like I just got hit by the dam struggle bus!


You all live happily ever after, or I'll drop kick all the teeth outa your mouth!


Parker Neimann Reposted

RT if you cried 😂😂 vine.co/v/M6wHz9EKOam


Parker Neimann Reposted

@Drunk_Kane88 #Showtime #cookies http://t.co/m9aqHNiP1h

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My dam twitter keeps favoriting things without me knowing? Why is it when I try working with technology it all turns to shit?!?


@shitclausonsays ughhhh I'm fat, lazy, a semi alcoholic, and every time the microwave goes of I shit myself and forget who I am for 15 mins!


Alright it's 4:30. Can I please fall asleep now or can someone come over and knock me out?


Parker Neimann Reposted

Hitchcock: Lines at morning skate will be lines tonight. Oshie and Berglund will not play in Game 1.


Conversation with my mom while eating dinner: starting a glory hole business since the economy is down and it would be a booming business!


First day back to class after spring break has to be harder than a quadriplegic competing in a gymnastics event!


@chelsea_rocha @AllisonRocha04 not trying to jump in on this buttttttt... My moms going out of town for Easter! Sooo were throwing a party!


@shitclausonsays I miss my budddddddddddy!!!! :,(


Just played a pick-up game of b-ball and decided I'm never gonna run anywhere again! The rascal life's for me!


So glad it's Friday. This week has brought my stress level to the limit!


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