@pistachiopete Profile picture

Millionaire Manatee

@pistachiopete

Winning at Life! I mean the board game Life. Nobody beats me at that.

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I love this time of year. I think it's so pretty how the weeds in my yard change colour.


That show Cobra Kai is so unrealistic. Like, where are these kids putting their cell phones while they fight? In reality they would be fighting with one hand and texting with the other. #CobraKaiSeason5


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Queens funeral isn’t sad if you put “Life is a Highway” behind it


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he’s taking his time to perfect the beat AND he’s still got love for the streets. you have no excuse


These truckers headed to Ottawa seem pretty ticked off. Wait until they find out Tim Hortons is changing their coffee lids again! #FluTruxKlan


Fortune cookies are getting oddly specific these days. Either that or my habits are becoming more predictable.

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New releases coming from Disney in 2022!

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Drake seems like a busy guy, maybe someone should tell him that they make condoms that already contain spermicide. #lifehacks #drakehotsauce #drake @drake


Drake releases line of hot sauce for all the people who believe the latest rumours. #drakehotsauce #drake @Drake

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I didn't make this, but I found it very amusing. #bingbong

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All the ladies running to comfort Jason Momoa because of his divorce


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Movie idea: Time Sharks. A story about sharks who make you late for things.


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I'm going away this weekend. I need someone to feed my cat & play "Let Me Clear My Throat" on repeat at 100db so my neighbors don't miss me


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If Ice T gets back in the rap game he should team up with a guy named Roast Beef because that is what I'm having for lunch and it's awesome


When you're over 40 and your teenager complains about having a sore back:


For the man who has everything...

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Me: WISH is just a bunch of useless junk that nobody needs. WISH:

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Now, more than ever. #NFTs

I thought about spending $450 mil on a DaVinci painting until I realized that I could right-click-save-as and get one for free.



Millionaire Manatee Reposted

nobody likes a show-off

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