Millionaire Manatee
@pistachiopeteWinning at Life! I mean the board game Life. Nobody beats me at that.
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I love this time of year. I think it's so pretty how the weeds in my yard change colour.
That show Cobra Kai is so unrealistic. Like, where are these kids putting their cell phones while they fight? In reality they would be fighting with one hand and texting with the other. #CobraKaiSeason5
Queens funeral isn’t sad if you put “Life is a Highway” behind it
he’s taking his time to perfect the beat AND he’s still got love for the streets. you have no excuse
These truckers headed to Ottawa seem pretty ticked off. Wait until they find out Tim Hortons is changing their coffee lids again! #FluTruxKlan
Fortune cookies are getting oddly specific these days. Either that or my habits are becoming more predictable.
Drake seems like a busy guy, maybe someone should tell him that they make condoms that already contain spermicide. #lifehacks #drakehotsauce #drake @drake
Drake releases line of hot sauce for all the people who believe the latest rumours. #drakehotsauce #drake @Drake
All the ladies running to comfort Jason Momoa because of his divorce
Movie idea: Time Sharks. A story about sharks who make you late for things.
I'm going away this weekend. I need someone to feed my cat & play "Let Me Clear My Throat" on repeat at 100db so my neighbors don't miss me
If Ice T gets back in the rap game he should team up with a guy named Roast Beef because that is what I'm having for lunch and it's awesome
When you're over 40 and your teenager complains about having a sore back:
Me: WISH is just a bunch of useless junk that nobody needs. WISH:
Now, more than ever. #NFTs
I thought about spending $450 mil on a DaVinci painting until I realized that I could right-click-save-as and get one for free.
nobody likes a show-off
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