Kristen
@pichettecomedyStand up/Sketch writer/performer for Lipstick Mustache/Cat Lover/Thrift Store Junkie/Lipstick Mustache:https://t.co/JcjnJQcsWP
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People frequently greet me with "look what the cat dragged in." But for the record I'm not a dead bird, or a vowel for that matter.
TONIGHT! Funny stories about shitty things with @abbyloveoatmeal and @klohwey 8pm, free for students ccug.yapsody.com/event/index/15…
Sometimes, even after you've fucked up a million and one times. It takes that one friend to just say "you're not a shitty person." To make everything ok again.
Going to my favorite place tonight! @ClearWaterCMDY at @ThePlusEC Where I get to drink @SpottedCow_Wisc . There Moto should be "2 beers fucks you up!" I love Wisconsin!
I have $7 in my bank account. And a $25 gift card to @redlobster in my wallet. What I lack in funds, I make up for in shrimps. Love you @redlobster
So I've only won words with friends twice. Once against a teenage girl and once against a body builder. So that's my level.
❤️
This is real Christmas magic. Also, this child is going to write a scathing thinkpiece about me one day and I can't wait.
I want to make a stand up version of a James Bond Movie. Called, " Eat Shit,Try Another Day."
In honor of the death of aim, I'll be posting my favorite away message from high school. "Not even sad." #RIPAIM
If you ever need an actress that has anxiety induced vommiting or farting. I'm your girl.
Sometimes I like to say "I'm going to have a snack." But with a Russian accent, so it sounds like I'm about to have a snake.
If someone says " I have a good feeling about us,"before they've even met you. Run.
Just so you know , BJ is not a valid word, on words with friends.
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