éponine
@paintedrxsesand rain will make the flowers grow • she/her/hers • infp • #illhueminati
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i hate how as the first child i always have to swallow my fucking pride bro. always gotta put my own personal feelings aside. always gotta do what’s expected of me and say what’s expected of me
i just wanna hold you close and help you forget about your worries just for a moment
all of the best friends i’ve had in my life - gone. and i can’t seem to wrap my head around it, is it because of me? something i did?
i don’t think anyone understands that i’m so fucking hurt dude. losing so many people so easily gets you like that. it makes you wonder, if you’re the one who causes it all. if you’re the one with the problem.
i didn’t think that losing one person would make me lose so much more. i also lost other friends, i lost my spirit, i lost my passion, i lost my trust...
lately i’ve been feeling like i don’t belong. like the places that are supposed to be like home to me don’t feel like it anymore.
no matter how much i wanna leave, i always find myself coming back
what even is the purpose of my life if all that i am for people is: - a last resort of a friend - someone that does favors for everyone with little respect in return - a punching bag for my family to express their frustration on as they please
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