Marnie @offbeatoliv Twitter Profile

Marnie

@offbeatoliv

➡️ https://t.co/wZI3MpThWN

Joined June 2016

114KPosts 10KFollowers 2KFollowing

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Pinned

Marnie

@offbeatoliv

14 Nov 2018

me: what’s wrong with me therapist: [looking thru notes] you’re the worst

Marnie

@offbeatoliv

30 Dec

disgusting if literal: a stream of piss

Marnie Reposted

Kellalena

@topaz_kell

29 Dec

Sprayed my text with perfume in hopes of seducing you.

Marnie Reposted

TattleTaleSister

@TattleTSister

26 Dec

Maybe one day, if I’m a very good girl, someone will actually be afraid of losing me for once.

Marnie Reposted

Jack Boot

@IamJackBoot

1 Jan 2017

I love the New Year's Eve countdown. All the best parties end with math.

Marnie Reposted

Felicia

@LostFelicia

4 Sep 2023

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven't seen it since.

Marnie Reposted

Hand Solo™

@RdrJay47

26 Dec

How come Greg Olsen looks like Bill Hader doing a football player skit?

Marnie

@offbeatoliv

27 Dec

The bad news: my friend’s son got busted for smoking weed in the bathroom of a Spirit Airlines airplane The good news: he’s banned from Spirit Airlines for life

Marnie Reposted

Emma Beasley🐝

@JustBeingEmma

3 Oct 2023

Great news! I found the lid to my favorite Tupperware bowl - the one I threw out last week because the lid was missing.

Marnie Reposted

Wendy

@_wendyb07

25 Nov 2023

I hope that wasn’t a life lesson I just ignored.

Marnie Reposted

ES

@ESXIII

25 Nov 2023

There’s a huge difference between “I’m happy I read that book” and “I’m happy I finished that book.”

Marnie Reposted

Schmuckarillo By Morning

@SchmuckOnAHorse

6 Oct 2023

At my age, even jumping to conclusions gives me knee pain.

Marnie Reposted

M🔴T

@JusyMot

26 Dec

not my best year but i have learned a lot

Marnie Reposted

Wondering

@stillwondering1

20 Sep 2022

Things keep happening, so far, without end.

Marnie Reposted

Tusk Jenkins

@TuskJenkins

25 Dec

Happy everything to those who omnibrate

Marnie Reposted

Μαρια Κιτρινη

@greek_heanen

16 Nov 2023

Welcome to your forties! You're gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples

Marnie

@offbeatoliv

23 Dec

If you don’t recognize me I’m the one with the sensible shoes.

Marnie Reposted

Annie Hatfield

@AnneHatfieldVO

6 Dec

I rarely wear my wedding ring because I don't care for rings. Downside: I have nothing to hurl in anger.

Marnie Reposted

just me but not

@justmebutnot1

24 Aug 2023

She will disappoint you like a $10 coffee

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