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Doing this with a coney dog in the Detroit River
Went to Roatan to dip my mango in the ocean like Rihanna! And it’s so good!!! 😩
HELP ELON!!ELON!! HELP! HELP! POST "DOG COIN"
Taking a shit in a DC airport bathroom hoping a Senator propositions me for gay sex
It's my #Twitterversary! I have been on Twitter for 13 years, since 2 Jun 2009 (via @twi_age).
The UKRAINIAN situation is Fd up… Russia is truly on some BullShit. Smh
February 16th, 2025: I am huddled up next to a burning cop car. Covid variant Omega has collapsed society. I am on my 53rd booster shot. A roving band of boog bois round the corner. I reach for my PSA AR15, aim it and pull the trigger. It jams. I am killed by a COD semtex grenade
You take one bite of this and Boosie starts clipping through the wall with a tire iron behind his back
Tell your friends - Jim Belushi has the gas!
in this house, a PIT BULL can believe in GOD !!!
hey there delilah can i borrow twenty dollars
I’m so ready for summer nights. Summer vibes. Being barefoot all day. Walking down the road with nothing but a bindle on a stick. Being a train hopping vagrant. Wearing a hat with the top popped out. Slicing up a single baked bean between me and my friends near an oil barrel fire
Вороны, летите домой в Балтимор. вы никогда не должны были осмелиться выступить против могучего Буйвола! #BALvsBUF #GoBills #BillsMafia
Legitimately one of the funniest things any president has ever done lmao
Donald Trump, answering phone call from 7-year-old on Christmas Eve: "Are you still a believer in Santa? Because at seven it's marginal, right?"
*with tears in my eyes* Congress... thank you.
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