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elon mustard

@nice_mustard

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hot dogs were invented in 1936 by Larry Hotdogs when he accidentally dropped a bag of prize-winning pig assholes in his Dick Shaper Machine


elon mustard Reposted

We need a leftist Andrew Tate. We need a leftist Fox News. We need a casino where you don't gamble and they give you free money. I refuse to understand the ecosystem I'm in the center of and I will not leave or modify my behavior. We need leftist McNuggets


one positive from today is i am feeling very unburdened by what has been


hey brett, go favre yourself

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what does he think a missile defense shield is? i want to know so bad

Trump: We will build a missile defense shield.. We’ll put Herschel Walker in charge of that little sucker



elon mustard Reposted

me: let the time run out. who cares. the world is better off without me anyway… jigsaw: heyyy nooo. cmo-(voice filter off) cmon man. you’re awesome


elon mustard Reposted

Mos Feratu


HOLLYWOOD, 2025 PRODUCER 1: Nosferatu is a hit! 100 billion gross. Oscars across the board. Where do we go? PRODUCER 2 and 3 [in unison]: Dos Feratu P1: Tag line. P2: This time... there's TWO Feratus


when i think of hard work, i think of a suited walrus who screamed at children on tv for being too gay

Dr. Phil: This country was built on hard work.. Not on DEI



my theory is that they can get away with calling every election the most important in history because our phones gave us all dementia. i forgot how to tie my shoes because of cat videos. i've worn a diaper for years from watchimg gangnam style


very cool sir! i can't wait for you to rapture us to mars in a big exploding tube! so dark and gothic!

Elon Musk: I'm not just Maga, I am dark gothic Maga



elon mustard Reposted

oh you think its funny that 300 iq males are crashing their teslas & being cooked alive by some weird type of fire thats immune to firemen


i am watching gremlins 2: the new batch. and it might be the best movie ever made. the jokes are impossibly good and it looks like a Spielberg


Let's fucking goooooooo

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elon mustard Reposted

i give out weed candy to kids on halloween. i get it specially made to look like regular candy which costs me thousands of dollars every year but i think it’s fun. i won’t stop.


elon mustard Reposted

kidnapper: we’re not going back for medication me: ok cool I’ll just tell my cholesterol that


elon mustard Reposted

before my son got glasses we were at some thing where a guy was speaking and my son asked if it was normal that the guy speaking looked blurry and i said “yes that guy is just a blurry guy”


well he's definitely not a top

Top German neo-Nazi plummets 200 feet to his death while hiking on Hitler’s favorite mountain trib.al/9GsViqJ

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hi! this sucks

Today, I am announcing that as president, I will create a bipartisan council of advisors to give feedback on policy and inform my administration. Our democracy needs a healthy two-party system.



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