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@namasteathomedahttps://t.co/Bjs9OALYDH on IG
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they should make them have “ADDERALL” & “VYVANSE” plastered across their foreheads for this… like ads on race cars
when you’re mean to Israel this is who you’re being mean to:
I don’t even use this app but I came on to repost this 🦾
somebody on a fucking roll today ion even knoe this fuckfaces twitter
mall parking lots are the best place to hear couples arguing. It’s like they think they’re safe from people hearing them once they leave the mall. you’re not. I am listening to you and choosing a side
don’t call yourself an army wife if you don’t cheat! that’s stolen valor
best twerk anthem for girls with no ass is the Hoarders intro theme
they should have called Good Will Hunting “Math Damon” 😏
I just closed the bathroom door at a sushi restaurant and it sounded exactly like the opening bass line to “the less I know the better” by tame impala
judges wanna come off all prim and proper and demand they be treated with the utmost respect yet they have their own little personal toy MALLET to slam down on a tiny designated wooden plate a bunch of times to get peoples attention??? childish. why would I take you seriously
RIP director of Raytheon you would have loved witnessing the flaming carnage of your own plane crash
i was created in God’s image: fake & gay
if Kanye ever saw “Billy Madison” he’d probably sign up to fight for the Israeli army
what is it about going bald in your 20s that makes men want to become pickup artists?
don’t call yourself a country girl if you’ve never sucked the mud off some Truck Nuts
he’s a 10 but everytime you get stoned you find him really annoying
I hate getting my blood taken now that I’m clean I be catching myself coaching the phlebotomists like a parent at their kids soccer game
Be the person your Trader Joe’s cashier is trained to act like they think you are 💖
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